Fractures
by KingPink34
Summary: Each has left a mark on each others life. One is dark and one is bright. But that is not how life plays out. What will happen when they meet again? Will they hunt each other to their ends? Were their ever intertwining fates designed and sealed once and for all? Is it all black and white?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note:** ... Hello majestic people of fanfic, this is my first fan fiction to have ever make it to the internet so please have mercy on me. Im usually very reserved about my work, but my so says that my work is good and he enjoys it so I thought why not share it.

So this happened when I went to see the premiere of The Force Awakens. I am in love with Reylo. I am a sucker for high drama romances on screen, everything that is too difficult or too opposite and I'm hooked.

I came home and went through tumblr to find the precious Reylo shippers, but, since it was too early, ill give them that, there were only but two or three posts. No fanfics yet. So I wrote and wrote, mostly for myself, and I am up to 28 chapters so far. As I said, I've never published my fanfics. And this was backed by the midterms coming closer, so i just put this piece in the drawers.

When I come back after New Years, I was so delighted to see how much the shippers grew. And the fanfics, oh my. I very much enjoyed when _**Balance**_ and **_Colorblind_** came out here(i will post their account names the next time i log on, I'm so sorry i don't remember them), and saw that they were fantastic. Now I follow their updates closely. They were captivating for me because they really know how to capture the real Rey and Ben.

I am a fanatic when it comes to characters and the situations they're in. _I will make them crawl through hell and back but I will try to stay as close to their characters as possible._ I love some smut that goes around here, but that is not me, mostly because I think that that is not Rey/ Kylo Ren. I love their relationship just because it is so complicated and because they are such complex characters, and because they will probably need the most open minded, brilliant writers to make them canon.(on that note please tell me If i am doing something wrong with their character, I never want to compromise their true psyche in order to maintain my storyline) Hence this is why the story is a slow built one. Eventually Rey and Kylo Ren will get together. It will take them very long to get together, but the bits in-between will be worth being a part of.

Again, Every feedback is appreciated! It is more than welcomed.

I hope you enjoy the angst, fluff and drama!

Kirk out xx

* * *

She raised her head and looked at him, her warm breath leaving steam traces in the cold, frisky air. He stood tall and quiet. There was something different about him. The chaos that used to surround him was gone. The energy around him was more confident and wholesome. He was more calm, more...mature?

And he moved.

He stroke again. And again. And again. Rey's lightsaber was barely blocking them, her breath leaving her lungs a little more with each strike, until she felt her limbs shaking and giving up. How was it possible for her to fail this badly? How could she be so bad at it? A year and half ago she managed to beat him with no training at all!?

None of this made sense to her.

She felt betrayed. Not by Luke, or Obi-wan, Or the Force even. She felt betrayed by herself.

She looked at him. His dark black figure reaching tall, like a stone statue.

He stroke again. This time, she stumbled, almost falling into the ground.

 _Not today! You will not beat me!_

He twirled his lightsaber, playing with it...He was taking his time.

Rey called to the force. How was it possible? how was it possible that, after all that training, she was worse than that snowy night? How was it possible, that, after thousands of hours training with Luke, after countless of work and spirit she'd put on it. _..she was failing. focus. breathe. focus._

''Because,''he spoke, breaking the silence, the deep voice coming from underneath the mask '' You are forgetting two very important things, that are crucial to a fight,'' he moved around playfully and effortlessly started striking her again.

She felt her body giving up. Her muscles were shaking, her legs were numb. How long have they been fighting for?

'' About two hours and twenty minutes,'' the voice under the mask said ''not counting all the times you tried to flee from the fight... Scavenger'', she could feel his smug beneath it.

She hated that in her bones. She hated that he would go into her head like that. She hated it every time he would answer her inner self. _Who gave him the right?_ She hated that she could feel how entitled he felt towards everything. She hated the way he moved. She hated the way he reeked of priviledge. She hated his self proclaimed authority. She hated his existence.

'' Murderer...'' she heard herself saying, her teeth grinding, '' Get out of my head!'' Her double ended lightsaber pointed directly at him. He stopped. In all silence, she could hear herself grasping for air. Breathing so loud that her ears started to buzz. _Dont let yourself go._

As he lowered his lightsaber, he tilted his head on the left, as if he was wondering what her next move might be. She tried to get into his head but he was solid. He had learned how to shield himself from her mind probe. Barely gathering her breath, she impatiently waited for his next move.

But he didnt attack. Instead, he started approaching her slowly. She followed his very move with her body. _no guard down._ Soon she realized he was coming around her in a circle. He had the upper hand. _he knows that. I know that_. So she waited.

But he didn't attack.

 _He doesn't want me dead._ Just beaten. And he was waiting for her to surrender herself first. She didnt feel like a prey. She felt like a prize. She realized, he was playing with her.

''What do you want from me?'' she said, her voice breaking from the exhaustion. Her sweat was coming down her face, and her eyes, although angry, were tired, like a mother beast.

He stood quiet. He wasnt pacing in circles around her anymore. She felt him take a deep breath.

Then it almost went black. She felt like the bare breaths she had managed to gather in the last seconds had left her, her stomach betraying her with a disgusting feeling of nausea. Something between a cough and a gag came out of her as she folded into the ground, her lightsaber rolling into the ground next to her. It wasn't half as painful as it was uncomfortable.

She couldnt breathe or move. She could cry. So she closed her eyes and waited for another punch.

* * *

.

.

.

When the other one didnt come, she rushed to get into her feet, picking her lightsaber with her. She had tears in her eyes. She saw him standing there tall, about three meters away from her, his glooming red lightsaber waiting.

Her anger, fueling her core and her heart, brought her tears she didnt know she had inside. Sobbing, she wiped the tears off her face and charged at him with all she had left.

It seemed to had caught him by surprise. He raised his head, but there was no emotion to be read from the mask. Her every strike was meant to be deadly. She wanted him dead. He defended himself, but he was not backing down. Her rage was immediately channeled into her lightsaber, every single move going for the kill. He was sure even the plants surrounding them could feel her uproar.

''You're a monster!'' she screamed, while simultaneously charging at him like a wounded tiger ''A pathetic man, who refused love and family! A disgusting murderer who took everything he was given for granted!'' she yelled at him, sobbing ''You ungrateful freak!''

Her last three strikes threw him off his feet. If it wasnt for a quick reflex of his upper body, the last strike wouldve gone right through his right shoulder. He took two steps back, his mask looking towards her. She could feel that he lost his breath in the end too. She felt proud, her body rising slightly with each breath.

She stopped and assessed the situation. They were so close. If one of them moved with a lightsaber, the other would be dead. _Control your emotions Rey, You are not ordinary._ The voice of Obi Wan reminded her who she was and why she was here. She took a step back, and stood in a defensive position, waiting for his move.

Kylo Ren let out a sigh.

''You still dont understand do you?'' he said beneath the mask. ''You still have forgotten about the two most crucial facts about our little fights''. He moved, straightening his stance, regulating his big walk and bringing forward his lightsaber.

''Which are?'' she said, detest in her tone. Rey didnt expect much from him. But she needed the time to gather herself together for the next attack. She needed to gather her breath.

''You and me.'' he said in a plain voice, as if it was the answer to the easiest problem.

''You and me.'' she scoffed ''You?...and me.'' Her voice sounded falsely amused. The air had started to feel heavy.

''... and your next attack will be so predicted you will end up in the ground again, grasping for air. So I suggest you don't do it at all, if you have learned anything from the Jedi training'' He continued, ignoring her tease. ''You see Scavenger,'' his tone cold and eerie, ''what you, Luke Skywalker, what every Jedi, has missed out ever, is that no matter how much you train within the light, calmness and peace of mind, the fact that you do not accept yourselves as thoroughly, makes you weak.'' he hissed at the last words '' You kept asking yourself why you beat me that day in the forest almost two years ago...'' He stopped for a moment to look up towards the sky. She glanced up too. The dark rainy clouds had managed to cover what was left of the crimson sunset sky. There were some purple rays barely penetrating the clouds, but they were faint, and were weakening by the hour. She looked down again towards him, and noticed that he was removing his mask. _no. dont._

 _''_ The reason you beat me, was exactly what youve never thought would be.'' He resumed the conversation leaving the mask and his cape on the ground. _why_.

''What are you trying to say? I will not be manipulated by you, Monster!'' she hissed.

''You were untrained, scavenger'' he replied, the voice sounding monotone '' untrained by the Jedi '' He looked straight at her now, as he was coming close ''...See, it is true that Luke Skywalker is one of the most powerful Jedi out there, and as much as I do admire his sense of restrain and rightfulness, he lost his power too.''

Rey was confused. _what in the name of the Force is he trying to say?_

He stopped about two metres away from her. Far enough for her to read his sharp face. She didnt remember his face to look so...in her memories he was painted as with softer features.

''Look Scavenger,'' He said, his body chaffing, just like his voice ''When you are, as you are, one with the Force, is the Force who molds you. You go with it, not against it. The Force guides you. The Force never tells you anything, what you should do or what not. The Force feels with you.

Is true that when you train with the Jedi, you learn many skills, defense, perseverance, and patience but...'' as his deep voice rested, his eyes looked pensive ''You are but in a frame, a box, and you cannot get out of it, because if you do, you are taught, and taught your whole life that it is wrong...that feeling fear, and anger and passion is wrong...''

Somehow Rey felt pain in him. Not even having to use the Force, somehow she looked right through him. He had not been looking at her anymore. He wasnt talking to her. Rather, he was talking to himself.

Somewhere, lightning fell.

''Fear makes us lose ourselves,'' Rey replied. He looked up to her and in his eyes she could see disbelief. ''Anger and pain, they make us self destruct, you should know that'' Rey found herself citing Obi Wan. It came naturally to her. Kylo Ren was staring at her, his face clearly showing displeasure and dismay. His body had a different kind of stance. He seemed less aggressive.

He tilted his head, and in less than a split of a second raised his lightsaber and charged at her. She, having gathered all her strength, defended herself gracefully. At first.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:** So this one is a tad long. I see I haven't gotten hate yet, which makes for a difference from what it is on tumblr. Hope you guys enjoy it.

* * *

The rain had started not long after their lightsabers collided again. Pouring.

Not long ago Rey had decided that she did not like the rain. In the beginning, when she trained with Luke, she wondered at its calmness and the sounds of the drops in the earth, but after a while she learned it was only but a hassle. Everything was fuzzy under the coat of the rain drops. She would be wet and cold, something that, no matter what, always compromised her fighting skills and agility. It was uncomfortable. She was not used to running in the mud. She was not used to breathing the humid, runny air. The swampy dirt was slippery, and she couldn't trust her own feet to keep balance.

And right now it was pouring. _grand._ As Kylo stroke each time with a rock solid confidence, his stance never weakened by the muddy ground, Rey struggled to keep up with his attacks. She had not forgotten the sour feeling of a hard punch in the stomach. She would not let her guard down again. _Focus Rey._

She felt the force calling to her and welcomed it with an open heart. But it was not enough. She knew how to defend herself, but her training had gone only so far. Every time she tried to attack, it seemed as if Kylo Ren had already blocked her way. As if he knew it before her.

''Listen to me'' He said, breathing in a worrisome, yet robotic voice, as he stood back and lowered his lightsaber. _No! Monster. I refuse to listen to a murderer, a monster that refuses his own family._

''Listen to me!'' This time his voice was frightening. After she tried to attack him again, she felt the strong grasp of the Force in her throat. Her breath died. She tried to fight it. She tried to use the Force on him for a change, but she was no match. _let me go, leave me alone._

 _''_ Cant you see? Really?! The reason you beat me that day, two years ago?'' he was crouchin, trying to reach her eyes. ''It was because you were not put in a frame, Rey! You followed yourself.'' He took a deep breath, waiting for a response from her, but when nothing came out, he continued.

''You didnt follow a protocol, a thousands year old book that dictated how each of our paths would go.'' she felt a spark, a sort of passion in his voice. His face was showing it too. But she was gagging for a small amount of air. _let me go._

''The reason you almost beat me again today it was because you trusted your own feelings! Your instincts!'' His eyes were glowing in awe. His face was all lit up, and Rey could feel his...happiness? No, it wasnt just happiness, it was more of a relief. Her throat hurt. _.go._

The air entered her lungs, rushing inside of her. He let her go, his hand still holding up towards her, ready , yet he was waiting for her response.

''Anger will kill you, will turn you to the dark side!'' was all she could say after her first breath. She breathed aggressively to keep herself from fading out.

''Look what it has done to you! Look what it did to Ben Solo! How could you do the things youve done? I will never condone such a path.'' Rey was angry now. _why._ He lowered his hand. His eyes seemed sad and innocent.

 _''_ You are angry because you also felt this, this false veil that the Jedi pretends that it protects us.'' His face was drawn to her. His eyes were hungry for something. ''You feel relieved I am saying this. I know that. I feel it too.'' He said calmly. _he is so confident._

''Anger will not-'' she tried.

 _''_ Yes... Anger. You are Angry. I am angry too.'' his voice always calm, always robotic, interrupted her.

''But you also know, that Anger is what keeps us alive. It helped us evolve. It helped you charge against me. It helped you survive. Scavenger.'' He seemed more frustrated than before, his eyes not resting anywhere. ''It helped you survive in that garbage of a planet that they threw you in...''

''But It never consumed me!'' Now Rey felt the real anger. ''Ive never killed a person! Let alone my own kin, my family! The people that raised me and loved me and stayed by me!'' She started to feel herself tear up again. Longing for it, she never felt the presence of a family, yet him, he had had it all. And he tossed it away, hurting dozens in the process.

''You are selfish, arrogant, and you will never find peace if you are this self involved! You will know nothing but darkness'' she spat, her hatred radiating almost out of her body. ''A darkness that will rot you''

Yet the darkness had fallen, the soft veil of twilight was starting to grow thicker, with the forest contemplating it like a soft brush. Either of them were aware.

''I had no choice'' He murmured, but she didnt hear it. But he wasnt looking at her, or talking to her.

She charged again. ''Are we going to finish what we started?''

As he turned his lightsaber on, he marched towards her, and whilst countering her attack he heard a screech, the buzzing of both lightsabers tackling each other, to then look at Rey falling in the ground. He next saw the blood gushing from her outer left thigh. Breathing fast, she managed to stand up again. She hit him again. He now could feel her weakness, and how she compensated by attacking from her right side.

Avoiding her hits, he started walking back, creating distance between them. His eyes were not on her. He looked behind his back on both sides and then turned to Rey again. He was distracted by something. In a matter of, what seemed to be minutes, she felt it too.

''You are blinded, by those dogmas! You are not going to reach your full potential if you obey those useless orders. The force doesn't work like that! It took me so long to realize it.'' He shoved her down to the ground with his cross-guard, creating a big distance between them.

''Unless you really want to kill yourself, you better start listening to me. Let your true emotions take over. Be unpredictable.'' He lower his lightsaber and looked her attentively before taking a few more steps back, and, looking around him, went to fetch his mask and cloak.

.

.

.

* * *

Rey lingered down, her back touching the earth, for what it felt like an eternity. She tried to move. It hurt. Every single muscle and part of her body hurt and ached like never before. She had climbed mountains an never felt this sort of exhaustion.

Then she felt the sting in her thigh. She never knew the pain to be so excruciating from being touched by a lightsaber. She managed to pull her body up with her arms, only to see his silhouette disappear further between the woods. _why did he leave? where is he going? is he going to attack me again from behind? where is he going? why did he leave?_

Her heart was racing, and the blood from her thigh wasnt stopping. _where is my lightsaber?!_ Panicking, she used the force to call it, and the cold, metal feeling of it, in her hand, finally gave her a sense of comfort. She needed to get up. _Be aware of your surroundings. Feel the nature, feel the Force around you._

She closed her eyes. Using what she thought was her last drop of energy, she scanned the nature around her. She was in a small hill, surrounded by a small forest. It seemed to be muddy. Until it wasnt anymore.

She opened her eyes. Maybe it was some sort of a tundra. Whatever it was, it would be much better than standing helpless in the middle of the forest. Surrounded by darkness and shadows, and what sorts that they hide. The tall, strong trees, just like Kylo Ren, stood proud and dark, hiding probably evil and madness, that she did not want to deal with anymore.

At least not today.

.

.

.

* * *

The rain didnt stop. It was lighter, but annoying nonetheless. She had been walking...crawling, for a long time now, and the forest seemed to have started to shorten a bit. There were more bushes than trees, and now and then, the ground was less muddy. From time to time she could sense the sand beneath her. It was comforting. Coming to a downhill, she felt she was going down, but not seeing anything. The rain was pouring again. the lightnings scarring the sky within an interval of seconds. _where am I going._

She stopped again to use the Force. Or to just rest. _feel around you. Feel._

She sensed what seemed like a barren terrain, with many boulders and rough earth. Other than that, everything was fuzzy. So fuzzy. The rain blurred everything again. She hated it. _i need to survive._

 _focus Rey._

Then she felt it.

The spark in the force. A slight shift. Kylo Ren? _no._ Whomever it was, Rey knew they didnt wanted to be discovered. It was trying to hide. She knew that trick well enough to feel it. She closed her eyes again to locate where it was coming from.

After opening her eyes, terror covered he face. _i need to run. i need to survive._

She got up and started running, or...pushing her body downhill. She needed to run. Barely catching once slight, once deep breaths, she pushed herself to get further and further. She had no doubt her feet and legs were bleeding and scratched. Her left thigh had started to numb, still burning to her soul. She was amazed at how extremely hot and cold her body could be at the same time.

She wanted to cry.

Losing equilibrium, she almost fell downhill.. Now it was fear that took over. She needed to get away as far as possible...

Run. Run. Run. _run!_

But it was impossible. She stumbled on more than five to six boulders when she finally gave up and fell, rolling down, her every part scratched by the coarse terrain. Somewhere, she hit her head. She had a moment of peace, just to realize the hot tears that were rolling down her cheeks. _help. Luke. ObiWan...An..the..Force...please. I need to ._

It was completely dark.

Peaceful.

Quiet.

Warm.

Just like in Jak'ku. It felt blank. _move._ Darkness is never a bad companion when it comes to sleep. _move your fingers, your toes. up._ Then the cold. She shivered until the feeling crossed her whole body. She felt the wetness that had covered every inch in her body. In some parts she felt burning. She felt blood in her mouth. She felt the Force.

Opening her eyes, she realized it wasnt her own, or the surroundings. Blurry from the tears in her eyes and fuzzy, from the pouring rain she saw the approaching figures of.. what?.. five to six persons...

...covered in dark. Cloaked.

 _Get up. run._

She managed to fully open her eyes. Their image was becoming clearer. She got up in her knees, and gathering what was left, tried to get up and walk away, only to wobble and fall further in the dirt, scratching her knees bloodier. She noticed it was wet sand. _well i will die where i was meant to. in the sand. but i will die undefeated._ Wet sand was worse. She felt it sticking to her wounds and covering them dirty, as if it was infecting her with darkness.

She lifted her head up and saw all of them facing her. Tall and dark, their Force altogether was more than frightening. She felt the terror in her bones. _so powerful._ None of them was moving. She felt them breathing the Force. _do not give up Rey._

Her first instinct was to growl at them. But nothing could reach them through that thick veil of pouring rain. The rain not only covered their silhouettes very well, but also the sounds around her. She felt nothing but the rain and how every single drop broke into the ground.

 _Rey. breathe in. breathe out. You are a child of the force. take your fear, and use it._

Then she saw one of them coming towards her.


	3. Chapter 3

_That heartwarming laughter that was everything. The smile. Whose was it? The dimples. And the husky voice. And then it would shift again. Luke's angry attack, and his disgust. Leia's pain and disappointment. He could feel it all. Then the chaos. The carcasses. The dead. The screams. and then Snoke and his dark, cold silence. The quiet, the calm._

Walking away in the woods, he felt one with the darkness. It kept him calm. _i belong in the darkness._ He stood still for a moment, and buried his face in his palm. _why._ He hadn't had the vision in such a long time he'd forgotten about it. The vision that would ruin him. The vision that tempted him. The Light.

 _But they were coming. Who sent them. Why?_

He put his mask on, straightened up and continued marching ahead of him. Beneath the mask he felt secure. Sheltered.

 _Snoke._

 _He didnt think i could make it._

He felt anger rising up again. He had been so close. So close to her. So close to her thoughts. To her. He had felt her doubt, her hesitation, her concern. He had seen her change of heart traced in her face. He could feel her shift. She was strong, too strong for her own good, even though she still didnt know it. He knew how bad the temptation was. How had Luke Skywalker left her so blind, so unguided... _I could've guided her so much better than that._

But he had pushed too far. And she was so strong-headed. Her pride was hurt. _if thats the price to pay._ He left out a grunt.

Marching, reeking of anger and disdain, he reached the heart of the forest, where the other six Ren Knights were waiting for him, their shadows darker than night, identifiable only by the silent aura that rain drops created in contact with them. He stopped when all of them gathered around, one mask after the other. They looked towards him as he stood tall in front of them, his lightsaber gleaming bright red.

* * *

 **Authors note** : Well this one is short and in retrospect, because I love retrospective. But I don't dwell on KR povs mainly because i think he is such a complex character, that even with himself he has trouble finding his depth. So I like to just scratch the surface with him, to give just enough to go on.

Btw as I promised to find the name of the person who wrote my two favorite Reylo fanfics, I'm now keeping my word. They are: NotSoJollywood- Balance and belowtheprecipice - Colorblind. I highly recommend you check them out, even if you didn't like my style of writing, cause they are brilliant.

Hope you guys enjoyed it.

Take care. xx

 _firerosedreamer67._ \- Thank you! I'm so glad you like it. One person like you makes an antidote for 10 antis. Stay tuned as I will post many chapters these upcoming xx


	4. Chapter 4

Rey managed to get up so slightly as to fully face all of them. With the rain still pouring, her vision was terrible, yet she could still distinguish at least six of them. Luke had told her about them. Dark tall features, as if they had landed from a child's nightmare. The Knights of Ren.

And Kylo Ren was one of them. _Thats why he left_. _but where is he?_

Barely standing, beaten up, bruised and bloody, she looked up and observed their tall dark frames, dreading their next move. Her knees and ankles were shaking. Their formation reminded her of wild desert savages that used to hunt during the night. They would face the prey like this too, ready to kill.

As the man started charging towards her with a blade, one of them in the left slightly moved.

Rey could do nothing but stare in horror as this man was about to cut her open. She stiffened her muscles as much as she could, and prepared for the pain that was about to come, simultaneously using the Force to stop him and turning on her lightsaber.

But her immediate terror was interrupted by as the bright red, and then blood red shone through the rain. She stood breathless and stared as his anguishing body was slain with a single, gleaming red lightsaber, through the heart. She cried out. She felt a sudden, very powerful shake in the Force that kept everything still, including her. It was mere seconds, and the dead body was pushed away, close to her feet when she recognized the cross-guard bladed lightsaber. _Kylo Ren. murderer._ For the first time, although disgusted by the feeling, she was grateful for it. She took a deep breath, got fully up on her feet and stared at him for whatever seconds, that felt like a lifetime.

They stood, facing each other, not further than mere meters apart, she, trying to catch her breath, and him, standing quiet like a stone.

Her heart started beating, faster and faster in her ears, as she saw him heading towards her. She knew she couldn't take him, in the state that she was. She knew that not even The Force could help her right now. _no._

As he marched towards her, she felt her ankles weaken, and her weight falling towards the ground. And, while she faced the pitch black sky and the pouring rain in her face, as soon as she realized he had put her to sleep, the last sight before it all went black, was his mask above her.


	5. Chapter 5

_They werent supposed to come back here._

All of the knights were there on orders. He'd almost never seen them all together. Every single one of them was here. What was this important, for Snoke to had called all of his most precious assets in one place? What had he done wrong, that there were needed six others to finish it? What?

Some of them started to walk away, uninterested, down the forest.

''The Jedi. Needed dead or alive-'' The muffled voice came from a cracked mask.

''She is no good to us dead.'' he interrupted. Being the largest of them, gave him an advantage, whenever he wanted to impose. But this time it was as if none of them listened to him. They proceeded to go down the forest, their shadows transformed with the dark trees.

 _The laughter, the smile, the warmth, the voice. Then Luke's anger would fill his chest, Leia's pain, and then the corpses. The fallen. Snoke. Calmness. Power._

He scoffed. The visions had started to come back again. _theyre haunting me._ He grunted, scared that some of them mightve seen him in that state. He looked around to see that all of the other Ren Knights had already gone.

Kylo Ren stood alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note:** So I'm sorry this came later than thought but life got in the way. There is way too much needed to be done and college doesn't forgive nor forgets. But I hope the two chapters compensate for the absence. Also I am aware that the length of my chapters tends to fluctuate like a waiters tips on a Friday night to a Saturday morning (that was a very bad comparison please forgive the joke). but anyways, I write the chapters in this way because I use them as a means to pace myself with the story, so I believe this is the best way to pace the reader too.

I hope you guys enjoy these too. And I hope you get the motivation you need for that homework that might be waiting for Friday. Off towards the weekend we go!

Shizzles

xx

* * *

In his arms, the Scavenger seemed deeply asleep. Her chest going slightly up and down, in small peaceful breaths. As one of the Knights ignited a lightsaber, he noticed her scars from its light. _useless._

''None of you is to touch her, or harm her in any way, until I say so. Did you hear me?'' His voice was angry, yet still calm and robotic. He always felt superior to them. Maybe because he had beaten them all once, his technique far less predictive and deadly, or maybe there was something to do with the fact that he was a trained Jedi once, that he felt he was worthy, he could not point it out. He was the grandson of Darth Vader after all. But he almost never felt the need to raise his voice with them. They understood him, and they knew where they stood.

''I do not know what your orders are, but mine are far more superior than anything you will ever have the luck to pursue.'' his voice was flat. ''Each of you will go back to where you came from and you will hear from me when I call for you.'' His mask followed carefully, each of them.

''Do I hear that one of you has not obeyed these orders,'' he paused ''the Supreme Leader's orders, there will be no further pity.'' his voice deep and stern, didn't trigger a response from them. The occasional lightning would shone some light on them, but their masks were there for a reason, cold and metal, and no emotion could be traced from them.

''Go!'' He shouted at them impatiently, his anger filling the air. One by one, they started moving and leaving quietly, their steps covered by thunders and the heavy rain. All apart from one. He knew that shadow all too well. He knew she wouldnt be convinced like that. She was the only true opponent he had in them, and she was merciless. The only one he never felt fully superior to. _Luke Skywalker's best apprentice._ He felt her come closer, until she could hover, her head tilted, her mask looking at Rey's unconscious body, still in his arms.

''You, are playing a dangerous game, '' she said. He heard her voice beneath the mask, deepened and muffled by it. ''and for the sake of our honor,'' her mask looked at him, and he felt the pierce as if there were no metallic barriers in their faces. ''I hope you lose it.'' her cold robotic voice drew shivers down his spine. She straightened her body, walked three steps back and drew her lightsaber. He waited, his breathing stopped. The rain wasnt as heavy anymore, but darkness was prominent.

As she turned around to leave, she started to walk away and effortlessly twirled her lightsaber, hovered it in the air, until it found something to cut through. Her signature, the fading fire from her red lightsaber that had cut through the bushes didnt stop for a long time until Kylo Ren saw her disappear fully in darkness and rain.

He looked at Rey. Her petite body looked like it was curled in his arms as he was carrying her. She was cold, and she was shivering. She was still bleeding somewhere. He felt the regret in his chest.

He headed up the hill, walking against the rain and the wind, as the occasional lightning showed him where to go. Not long after, his shadows morphed into the veil of the rain and the darkness of the forest.

.

.

.

He got up from the chair and approached the big window to look at the bright blue sky. Such a rich blue color. Reminded him of his childhood. So long since he'd seen the sky like this it from the First Order ships. He realized he missed it.

He looked at the dirty mask resting in the desk. _not today. today i will rest._ So he went towards the old sink, and cupped his hands to pour some water in his face. He held his eyes closed, waiting for the vision again. But nothing appeared this time.

The temple was a lucky strike. Hed felt its presence while searching for the Ren Knights, when they appeared two days ago in the middle of the storm. They had taken his ship, along with everything he needed in there to heal her. And later, carrying the scavenger in his arms headed to what he thought was an old, abandoned ship, only to discover, that ironically it used to be a Jedi temple. _the Force is mocking me._

He opened his eyes, refreshed, and searched for his shirt and tunic. While getting dressed he went to check on her. She had been sleeping for two days now. He had put her in a room where the sun strategically, would hit only during the peak, not disturbing her sleep, but yet would keep her room warm. Lying in the bed, he saw her chest moving just slightly, lightly inhaling and exhaling.

The light in the room made it much clearer how badly she was injured. Her lips were still half swollen, her face had scratches all over it and part of it was purple to black form bruises. Her left arm was completely purple to black, with two long scratches that went deep into her skin, whereas the right arm had three big yellow spots, that covered most of her arm, where the bruises were being healed. It was her staff arm. Her legs were scratched and they had scabs all over them. Probably from the bloody run she did, downward hill. _what were you thinking?_

Hesitating, he leaned further to check her thigh. He lifted the sheets that were covering her, exposing her small half-bare body. He didnt dare look at it the day before, maybe shame or disgust, or maybe guilt. He had used the Force to take her old clothes away and put her between sheets. Somewhere inside, he felt that he had invaded too much of her, that he had been what he hated most in himself. So he didnt try to heal her using the Force. That sort of healing needed contact, and he didnt know whether or not he was ready to touch her.

However, this needed to be checked. He pulled the sheets further very slowly, scared to not violate her privacy. As he was looking for the infected wound, his eyes could not help but look at her. Her skin was much clearer there, untouched from the sun and the battles, probably because of her robes. Behind the resistance jackets and badges, and the robe that Luke Skywalker had given her, she was still wearing those same clothes that she had when he first saw her...in that forest.

And there it was, the infection was starting to go away and her wound to heal. A wound, he knew too well, that that would be a scar for life. Lightsabers are no friends to human flesh.

Feeling his presence, she slowly moved, and opened her eyes in pain. He calmly stepped back and sat on the other side of the room, giving her space. After a few grunts and moans, she opened her eyes fully.

There was no fear, no disgust in them this time. She tried to pick herself up. It was followed quickly by a soft cry and a painful sigh of defeat.

''Where...'' she was squinting from pain. She swallowed, exhaled with a sigh and tried to finish her sentence ''Where am I?''

''In a former Jedi temple. East. You need to heal'' he answered slowly in a coarse voice, while looking at her.

''You haven't killed me yet.'' It wasnt a question. She closed her eyes in agony.

He didnt say anything.

''Where are the rest? Didnt they...want to kill me?'' words that left her mouth were leaving her in pain ''Why did you... interfere?'' her soft voice managed to channel her disbelief nonetheless.

''Their mission lies elsewhere. For now you need to heal.'' Kylo Ren finally answered. He got up and headed to the door.

''Wait..'' she spoke out soft and puzzled, the words were mouthed, rather than voiced, as she was trying not to hurt her ribs more. ''Why?... Why did you save me?'' with some painful gasps, she tried to get her upper body up ''What do you want from me Kylo Ren?"

He stopped. When he turned around he was surprised to see her fully sitting in her bed. _not disappointing._

'' You should be glad you are alive. You should be glad I spared you.'' he said calmly while noticing the anger building in her face.

But she didnt say anything. She just looked at him. and then turned her head on the other side. And he stared back. He had never seen her face in natural sunlight. Taking away the bruises and the swollen lips, she had a very clean structured face. It was innocent and young. Her face, it somehow reminded him of a honey bird, like the ones they had in the gardens, back when he was Ben Solo. They would only come out during the summer. _disgraceful._ Of course he had thought of it.

So he left. He needed to train. There was no Snoke here to tell him to do that. Apart from when he would decide to invade his thoughts and ask him of other duties to fulfill. But for now, he would train by himself, and none of that credit would go to Snoke.


	7. Chapter 7

Everything hurt.

Every breath hurt. Every move hurt. Damn, even thinking hurt. She had lost the connection with Luke, and Obi Wan, it was only the force that would speak to her from time to time.

But what hurt most was the unanswered questions. The torture she had to go through everyday, fearing for her life.

But it never happened. He would only come in the morning, stare at her until she woke up and then leave. He wouldn't say anything or reveal anything. His mind was like a stone wall. Her probing was as weak as her spirit.

She was broken. Outside and inside.

These were the thoughts she processed all day for four days. By the second day she gave up trying to make him talk, instead asked for water, and he brought it to her.

They were somewhere in the forest. Maybe up the hill where they fought...five?...six? days ago. But thats all she knew. The force in her was weak too.

So she slept all day. Whenever she got the chance.

.

.

.

 _Rey...you need to wake up. you need to fight. find your inner center and fuel the fire in it Rey, or it will be lost forever._

She woke up abruptly. Obi wan. His voice was back. He was calling to her again. _but what did he mean? will I lose the force? Can you lose it?_

 _You need to light the fire up again Rey. The fire within you. The force. Only you can do it Rey._

She tried to stand up but her muscles were really weak. After the first day waking up in the temple she didnt try again to rise from her bed.

But she would try now. The force was calling to her again. She took off the bed sheets and took a good look at her body.

 _I have to do this. I cannot stand still. I have to survive._ _I have to do this._


	8. Chapter 8

Kylo had created a routine, to accommodate to his life in the temple. He would wake up, drink some water, wake up the scavenger, train, meditate, go hunting and train again.

Waking up in the morning had become a blissful part of his day. He now longed for the bright morning sky, and for the fresh water the Temple provided. What he dreaded was the part where he would have to go visit her. _I have to. otherwise that foul scavenger will never get up from that forsaken bed. She haunts me._

The fifth day, however it was different. He felt a shift in the force. He worried that It might've been an outsider, until he realized it was her. He concentrated, to make sure it was her.

 _...you need to wake up. you need to fight. find your inner center and fuel the fire..._

 _that..._ His annoyance made him follow her force, and find her in her room. He climbed down the stairs to have a better view of her room. He expected her to have called everything with her Force, but...

There she was, her slim yet, still muscled body, covered in faint yellow spots, healed bruises and scars. The he saw the darkest bruise. Located just beneath her left rib, the dark purple bruise had erupted in the top from the swelling. Yet she clothed herself with grace.

He felt disgust. It was courtesy of him. He had done that. And he wondered why she didnt trust him. He turned around, putting his back in the wall.

Then it went black.

 _The laughter, the warmth, the voice. Then Luke Skywalker's anger and Leia's pain, and then the corpses. The fallen that surrounded him. Snoke and his training. Then. Power._

 _''_ I can sense you're there!'' Her voice brought him back. '' What do you want from me?'' This time she screamed on the top of her lungs.

He found himself almost falling to the floor.

 _Straighten up._

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and went to her room. Without even entering the room, he found her gleaming lightsaber pointing towards his torso.

''You will not fight me scavenger.'' His voice sounded bored. ''I can choke you to death before even thinking of calling half of my strength.'' He stared at her face to make what was of her emotions. Surprisingly she was blank. It didnt take long until he noticed her aura covering most of the room. It frightened him.

She cornered him. He tried to call his lightsaber, but she was blocking him. _how? when did she gather the strength?_

 _''_ Unless you forgot, I am a child of the force,'' her mouth showed disgust ''just like you Kylo Ren'' she replied. He now understood what a displeasure was when others answered to your inner thoughts.

He couldn't help feel disbelief, but pleased nonetheless.

''You saw those scars you've given me. You are responsible for those.'' her eyes were wide, and her nose was flaring.

''No, you and your Jedi washed head is responsible for those!'' He interrupted, now annoyed. ''And for this!'' he yelled while pointing at his face, his eyes filled with anger and regret. She glanced at the mark that crossed his face. The flaming scar hadn't changed much since the day she gave it to him, that cold and snowy night. ''With Snoke and his worthless self-loathing lessons, and myself for listening to him, I am responsible for it!'' Rage. Rage had taken over his face.

Rey stood speechless. Something in her face changed.

She lowered her lightsaber, and stood in front of him, close enough to feel his breathing. As he stood taller than her her, flaring at her, she scanned his rough face, only just to find the boy in him.

It didn't take long for his features to soften. His wild, raven locks that had out-done the hair tie fell somewhat gracefully in his cheekbones. His eyebrows weren't tense anymore, and his eyes had a different shine on them. They were sad. She scanned the scar. Probably why he doesn't wear the mask that often anymore. He thinks he is still intimidating. She knew immediately that he hadn't attended to it, like he'd done with hers. He possibly even liked it. The scar hadn't touched his lips..slightly parted...Suddenly he lowered his eyes to meet up hers. She realized her heart was beating faster. His face still had anger in it, but...he was also... He was looking for something. _why isnt he moving? why isnt he leaving?_ She found herself not wanting him to leave. _why?_

He broke the stare first. He grunted and looked away.

Then he lowered his head, his lips close to her right ear. She froze, shivers going down her spine. ''You dont know yet, but you need me.''

 _why was he whispering?_


	9. Chapter 9

He rushed out of her room. _what just happened._

 _''_ I don't need you!'' she spat as he left the room. He couldn't meet his eyes with hers. Her hazel eyes were so deep. Like they were demanding answers for everything. Like they were judging for everything. But he couldn't help it.

 _you're becoming soft. you're leaving space for others to waste your time._

So he headed to the training room.

His mind went blank.

He called to his lightsaber and started his combat training. Never practicing the same method twice, he strode to aim for the best performance at the first time. _do this and you win at yourself. be the best self you can be._

Breathe in. Get in position. Breath out. Strike. Breathe In. Turn. Breathe out. each breath he would let out a blow. It reminded him of the energy flow. It was important.

He continued training until the sun went past its peak.

He then felt her.

 _I cant stand doing nothing anymore. At least like this I might learn something._ Her energy felt soft. Not aggressive.

He didn't change his position.

 _I will not train for much longer._ He tried to not sound hostile either. He felt that she understood. She could not move fast, due to her injuries and weak muscles, but she headed towards the end of the room, facing the window.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Strike. Breathe in. Take position. Stance. Blow. Strike. Breathe in. Breathe out. Strike. Breathe in. change position. Blow. Strike. Breathe in. Breathe out. Strike. Breathe in. Strike. Another position. Stance. Blow. Strike. Breathe in. Breathe out. Strike. Breathe in. Take position. Strike. Strike. Breathe in. Breathe out. Strike. Breathe in. Take position. Stance. Blow. Strike.

Rey turned and was looking at him attentively. Her eyes followed his every move. A haze of light had been cast in the room from the after-midday sun.

Somehow, between the warm sun, bright blue sky, and that room with her sworn enemy training inside it, she strangely felt at peace for the first time in months.


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors note:** So here you go lovelies. I indulged in four chapters this time, well because I thought they should've gone as a bundle together, and because I had time.

Again, this is going to be a very long Reylo story. I will beat both of them up and down, because this is what i do with my favorite characters. I need both of them to have a taste of each others lives, and each others dreams and nightmares, so it will take a long time for them to accept each other as they are. Because I personally don't believe that life is black and white, I believe that theres much more colors in-between, and I believe that Rey and Kylo Ren were put in this SW franchise just because of the potential that they have to explore that.

So, again, patience. If you are with me and are reading up to here, kudos to you for bearing with me and Rey and Kylo. But I encourage you to believe in them. As of right now I am on the 36th chapter of this fic and still going strong, so if you actually like my crap then i got something in store for you.

Im delighted that people are reading this, and I am trying to pay more attention to detail and metas that are going on our there. Although my theory as to who Rey is is already sealed _(something I will not reveal now but rather further in the chapters)_ , I do like to take feedback from them, because, In the end, I am making this fanfic public for people like you. _(Also as my contribution towards the antis, their bullying is just irrational to me)_

Further,

Thank you so much to the gorgeous firerosedreamer67 and the amazing Stillare for your kind comments, I'm glad you are enjoying this piece.

Peace, Love and Lightsabers

xx

* * *

After he finished his training he glanced at her, as she was following every move of his, like a cat on guard.

But she wasn't feeling threatened. She was curious. She saw the sun rays that penetrated the room fall into his body. She had noticed even before, that he had never worn his First Order or the knight uniform here. Instead it was replaced by a beige tunic top and his black trousers from the Order. He looked more...normal.

Except from when he trained. Now the sun fell softly into his glowing skin.

He sat in the middle of the room. She knew he was about to meditate. So she went for the door.

 _You can join me._

But she didn't. She had her own training to attend to.

She felt him get up.

''I can help you train'' his voice was calm and flat like usual. She took a deep breath ''I can help you find power'' he continued, ''Power you didnt know existed within you'' His pleading eyes searched for validation and response from hers.

''Tell me why you are keeping me here.''

''I am not keeping you here.'' he responded calmly. _does she know? does she know who she is?_

''Then what am I doing here? I need to get back to Luke...I have to finish...'' she was confused.

''You cannot go to Luke Skywalker. He must come to you.'' He interrupted her, his usual annoyance surfacing his voice. '' Supreme Leader Snoke is looking for you...and cannot go to him. Not now. Not yet.'' He spoke hesitantly, his eyes searching for something.

Rey stood in front of him, more confused than ever. she sighed.

''I dont know whether this is another one of your games, or you are just trying to manipulate me, or...I dont know...'' She seemed conflicted. ''but whatever you are trying to do is not going to work!'' she spat in disbelief, her accent thicker than ever.

''It is not a game. Is far from it. I need to finish what I started. And I will.'' he said quietly, while walking away.

Rey felt his presence leave the floor. Furious, she tried to follow him. _how dare he speak like that? how dare he? what is he going to finish? the resistance? They will never give up!_

 _''_ Listen to me, Kylo Ren! You and the rest of the First order will never, ever defeat the Resistance!'' her voice echoed throughout the whole Temple. '' And you know why? Because we have a real reason to fight for!'' she felt her rage filling her up, energizing her whole body, like an electric shock... _dont say it._

''You will never be half the man Han Solo was! You dont deserve to have been a Solo to begin with! And the General...?'' she suddenly felt her tears coming up so she had to stop herself. She didn't look at him but immediately turned her back, not to leave him time to respond.

 _you will not cry again in front of him._

So she left the room and followed the stairs down the Temple. The pain was a little less than before, because of her outburst. But yet every step hurt. However, it was a pain she was willing to take, if it meant to take her away from him.

* * *

When she reached the bottom floor she felt how the warmth of the sun had touched the air. Outside, the sun had covered everything in a yellow glow. She was used to this glow however, so It only took her a short while to adjust her eyes. When she could see clearly what lied in front of her, she gasped.


	11. Chapter 11

_unreal_

Rey thought she was in a dream. _I am dreaming._ A most beautiful, peaceful and serene dream. She felt her heartbeat slow down and with it, everything that was happening around her. _how is this possible?_

She had never in her life seen such a thing. Not even when she saw the ocean for the first time. Not even when she saw all the greenness in Luke's island. She shivered, her left hand slightly covering her mouth. She stopped thinking. She felt warm, and whole. She felt as if she could do anything. She felt hope and joy.

The garden in front of her lied in all its majestic greenness along with every colour she could imagine. She was seeing colors she didn't know existed. Strange of a feeling woke inside of her. Invigorating. She was feeling nothing. She was feeling numb. Yet, she was feeling everything at once.

The garden was surrounded by big plants in the end, the sun reflecting the most green she'd ever seen, and many slim trees around it made sure the sun glow didn't suffocate the other was the perfect light. She felt her weight disappear. Her pain was gone.

She couldn't stop looking around her in awe. She felt love, hope, and peace at the same time. She felt full. So full.

The rest was a beautiful blend of every other color known to man. The small bushes on the side of the garden radiated pink, red and purple, with each of them having different flowers blooming. A bit further, she heard the leaking sound of a pond. She mentally followed its sound and found herself near a rusty-white gazebo. It had small crawling flowers covering it, and dozens of small butterflies flowing around it.

Somewhere, some birds were looking for love, and as she looked down the greenness had a coat of a glazing yellow. She looked up, and could find the sky easily between the thin small leaves of the trees surrounding the garden.

She felt her soul singing. She felt like singing. She caught herself grinning, so much that it hurt her face. She felt a hot tear running down her cheeks. It was the strangest tear. She laughed. Loudly. She'd had forgotten how to laugh.

It was as if her body could not handle this much emotion.

And this was one of those times. She suddenly felt The Force, stronger than she had ever felt it in her life, training with Luke, or fighting with Kylo, surrounding her, and lifting her up. She was weightless. Her heart was beating faster, her lungs were filled quicker. She was one with the sun, the sky, the air. She was one with the trees, the flowers, the birds and the butterflies. A melody flowing. She saw their life, she felt their energy, flowing like a never ending river, connecting each other, she heard the bird songs through their ears, she flew around the gazebo, floating with the butterflies. She felt everything around her, and they felt her too.

Her aura reached the crown of the trees, until she reached the sky...Is this what Obi Wan always told her about? What Luke always mentioned? Must've surely been. It was the most exhilarating Force she'd ever witnessed running through her blood and through her bones. She was everything at once.

 _You are one my child. You are the Child of the Force._

* * *

He was trying to shut her voice out. _damn her foolish scavenger temper._ But her loud voice was penetrating every kind of outer shield he was trying to project. He felt beaten for some reason. And frustrated. He took out his light saber and started training again, seeing that she had left the training room. He wasn't calm anymore like he was before, when she was in the room. Anger. Fury. Anger. Breathe in. Breathe out. Concentrate. _you fool. you let her take over. she will win every time._

 _concentrate._

 _concentrate_

 _STRKE._

He started striking without breathing anymore. Not long until he was out of breath.

He sat down. He needed to meditate. _concentrate._

But nothing had prepared him for what was about to come next. A shift in the force, was so powerful, it took him out of breath, throwing him towards the wall. His mind went blank for a moment. Then his heart started beating faster than a birds. _Wha...What?!_ What had just happened? _Did he find us?!_? Terror built up his body. He tried to get up, when another shift in the force threw him off balance again.

 _What is this?! Who is this?_

 _take a deep breath. Breathe. maybe is not Snoke. no. of course it is him. no. it isn't him. He is not this strong? is this...? what if ?_

His eyes opened and for the third time he tried to stand up. The shift in the force was still there. He couldn't believe his senses. This was not has happened? _where is the scavenger?_ Reminding himself of her he ran up and down the stairs of the temple, dizzy and shaky still, the view rotating around him. _where is she? she is not in her room. Where is she?_

Concentrate.

Concentrate.

The he found her presence.

He ran downstairs towards the heart pounding off his chest. _what if something has happened to her? what if someone took her? Foolish...what if..._

When he finally reached the garden door, everything made sense.

He stood speechless outside the garden door. He felt everything. Anger, joy, embarrassment, shame, envy, peace, pride...But what he felt the most was privilege. The privilege to witness what he just she stood there, surrounded by a stunning and blinding white aura, almost floating in the middle of the garden, radiating the Force, so powerful, birds and butterflies around her...her smile...her laugh...

He moved closer and he saw it.

 _The laughter. Her laughter. Her warmth as she radiated her smile, nothing was happening but her. She was in all white. All was white and eternal, but her smile. Her smile was present. He felt her peace, he felt her serenity. He felt her freedom. He felt free._

He wished this feeling never left him. His eyes glistening, he could do nothing but stand in awe at what he had just witnessed. He felt his heart warm, and his mind free. His heartbeat felt one with hers. He felt everything like she had. She had made herself a bridge. A connection between worlds. _She is extraordinary._ She was so powerful. _i knew it._ A smile in his face landed for the first time in years. _she is so powerful._ Rey, slowly as her feet touched in the middle of the garden, turned her head towards him. She gave him a wide smile. Her grin, the most important thing in that precious garden.

Then he felt her loosing all the energy. He knew she was going to faint. So he ran. This time she ended up in his arms, by her own doing.

 _Stupid scavenger._


	12. Chapter 12

**Authors note:** Hey everyone, so I hope you enjoyed the previous chapter, and as I said I will try to keep updated with everything. The story while I'm writing it right now is in climax, so I am very very excited for you guys to read how it unravels.

First. Somehow, some weird ass stalker found my tumblr and this fanfic and, even though I do not post anything related to fandoms (my tumblr is mostly for professional reasons, but I do sometimes comment or message people about fan arts and so) some freak found that I am doing this fanfic and started messaging me bullshit. Now let me get this straight, say this once for the last time and get it over with, I couldn't give less of a shit what the Antis think, or what anyone who doesn't like me think, for that matter. So to this person: do everyone a favour just get off the fandom and ride yourself into a good life of not hating. You're being completely rude by making me waste 2 minutes of my day scrolling down your bullshit that you spent writing for about 10 min off your life. Bye.

Second: sorry about the long rant over some asshole. i (know) believe he's done the same to other writers, so i didn't wanted to stand for that shit.

Third: yes the story is such a painfully slow Reylo that even I get frustrated. i really do. Sometimes i can't believe myself. Trust me even when I write, i get surprised that I am not putting them together. But to me Rey is not fully Light and Kylo Ren is not fully darkness, I want both of them to reach to the grey area, partly by the help of each other, but I also don't want them to fully redeem themselves just because of each other. I want them to get there by themselves. Also i will not make Luke an asshole grumpy grump. I like Luke and I still think he will be doing the best he can with Rey, knowing that even if she might've been in his academy, she still is a (grown ass) rough diamond in the rough. Remember when anakin was too old (?) to be trained, too unstable? Well imagine how hard it would be to shape Rey. But whatever happens, Luke will still be a rey of sunshine, because to me he is not the old grumpy grandpa, that will repeat the mistakes of other masters over and over. Now Kylo. I will never forget that he killed Han Solo. Nor will Rey. Nor will anyone in my fic. Because he killed Han Solo. His father. Thats that.

Also something Ive wanted to clear out since day one, but i forgot to put it in my notes is Rey's lightsaber. I have a very clear idea for that, and i wanted to draw it to make it more relatable to the people reading it so Ill put that up soon enough. I've based it on Bastilla Shan's, but it will be much more different than hers.

Fourth: I am terribly sorry that my chapters seem to be short. When I read them, to me is more like a big gap, like a tempo that helps me distinguish one happening from the other. but thanks for the feedback and letting me know. I am trying to make them longer by now and I basically bundle them altogether in one chapter enough so they make sense. hope you like it.

And finally thanks so much to the loyal _firerosedreamer67_ , you're gorgeous, and to the lovely _bluejustice13_ , thanks so much for the reviews, they really, really mean a lot guys! Feedback and reviews are always more than appreciated, as always! Thanks for staying through the story. I promise it will be worthwhile.

Live long, love and prosper

xx

* * *

She felt his presence first. He was worried. _why._ Then she felt him feel her awakening. She opened her eyes.

She was leaning in his bare chest. His musky scent caught her off guard. He smelled like the garden. She shook the thought off, and tried to make some distance between and stand on her knees. She was grateful he hadnt taken her away from the garden. She expected pain...but it was gone. Not her muscles, or even her ribs.

She stood, her face next to his. He was looking at her, admiration and confusion altogether. Then she saw his adams apple go once up and down. But she sensed he was calm. Sensed his peace.

''I dont know-''

''-What happened?...'' They both managed to say, interrupting each other.

Rey stared at his lips. Her core felt strange. Something in her stomach was twitching. She imagined herself leaning forwards, close to his face...She looked him in the eyes again. Those dark, profound eyes. He wanted answers, but he wasn't in a hurry. _maybe he is right._ He wasn't going to leave this time. Without touching him again, she got up.

''This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life'' she said, showing him the garden around. ''I have never seen such colours, or felt this kind of soft warmth, you know, is usually very very harsh, the hotness in Jak'ku, and the green, ive never seen this much green...or these...'' she said pointing at the butterflies ''...what are these gorgeous creatures? We never had them with Master Luke...'' her voice, slightly trembling was so full of life, he didnt wanted to interrupt her.

She stared at him, him still sitting down in the grass, looking at her. ''Sounds like a joke, but I haven't felt like this since...I don't remember,'' there was sadness in her voice, ''there was no such thing in Jakku, or in Ach'to, or ...I dont know. Master Luke has tried to show me beauties, but this is...'' she took a deep breath and looked around. Her smile returned. Her wide, contagious smile. ''Extraordinary.''

''Well? Am I ever going to get an answer from you?'' She looked at him for an answer of sorts. But he was frozen, looking at her.

''Ive never seen that either. You are so powerful.'' he managed to say. '' I knew you had it in you, I knew it, but you...'' he stopped for a moment, trying to find the right words ''..I think you are about one of the most powerful Jedi's.'' He looked her straight in the eye.

She didnt know what to say. '' Stronger than Darth Vader?" she said playfully.

''Uncomparable.'' He said in a low voice, not thinking twice, his eyes still wide. He was thinking something else however. ''How...?''

''I dont know...I was just staring at the beauty of all, trying to make what of what and letting it all in, until...'' she stopped. _i cried.._. ''until i just felt The Force, and let it take me'' Their gazes met each other's.

''You need to learn how to achieve this every time Rey! This is how you become truly the most powerful of all...This power...You can do so much with it'' He was trying to find better words. And halfway through he felt he lost her.

She sighed. Her exhale went with her joy.

''Thats all you think of? Really?'' The disbelief. He felt it piercing the air. She could not paint herself a better disappointment face, even if she wanted. Her face changed.

''You know, I thought for a moment, I get to meet Ben Solo, I thought, just for a slight glimpse of a second, that there, might, could, somewhere still be hope for you.''

He got angry again too. _when will they all understand? ''_ There is no Ben Solo anymore! You and the rest of the galaxy have to accept it. He is gone. There is only Kylo Ren.'' He got up.

''I thought that Leia Organa could, for once more in her life meet her son. Her son, the one who killed her husband. But you never fail to prove me wrong. You are a sad and pathetic being. Kylo Ren.'' Her face was covered in pain and disgust.

''She will not meet her son anymore, because he is dead. I killed him,'' he leaned closer to her, and she could feel his heartbeat, she saw the vein in his forehead, and the rage that filled him, ''And I will kill you too. If the circumstances are necessary. Scavenger.''

She got up, her head high. No, he was not going to attack her while she could snap his spine with a move of a hand. While the Force was one with her. While she could puppeteer him. She probed him, and she felt him resist, but to no good. He surrendered. She scoffed at him one last time before leaving the garden. _he was lying._

* * *

Heading to her chamber, she tried to look for Luke. She knew the capacity of her powers now. She could sense almost everyone in the galaxy if she concentrated well enough.

 _Luke...Where Are you? I need you! I need you to come and get me!_

She felt his presence almost immediately. He was on the nearest planet to the Resistance. The one that was not obliterated by the Starkiller.

 _Rey. I felt it. You are all powerful. But what were you thinking? Are you out of your mind Rey? You know how dangerous this is? you could've killed people! Now everyone will be able to find you Rey. You are like a beacon now. You need to hide Rey. You need to control your emotions._

Rey was caught off guard. _Luke, I, I did not know. I didn't know I could do that._ This is not what she expected at all. Maybe a little credit? She felt herself in a strange position.

 _What should i do? I dont know what to do? I was weak, I was wounded and close to death. My fight with Kylo Ren...you never came to aid me. i needed you master. I dont know what to do!_ She felt herself panic again. But nothing happened. She waited his response, only to be followed by silence. _Master Luke..._ But she could find him now. She located him again.

 _Luke answer me. you cant leave me like this!_

She felt his anger, even across the galaxy.

 _Rey! Do not attempt to do that again. Ones privacy is crucial. you are invading. this is what too much power gives you.I did not leave you alone, you had blocked everyone at the time. i tried to contact you. I will come to get you with Leia and some folks of the resistance. Do not contact us again, or try to contact the resistance, you will expose their location. You will cause their death Rey! Try to contain yourself. See you when we get there._

After he spoke the last words, silence fell again. Rey felt alone again. She tried to get her previous self back. Full with life and joy and emotion. She tried to think of all that made her happy. What made her happy? _nothing, anymore?_ In Jak'ku, life was easier, a simple meal, a rare piece or even a friendly stranger or traveler, they would make her days. Her days filled with warmth, sun and sand. But now what? What made her happy now? She had all the meals she could eat, all the water she could think of. _so much water._ She would meet many people visiting from the resistance, but it wasn't the same. They were not travelers. They we're not on a journey. They were on a path. On the path to war and almost certain death. She tried to think of Finn. He was her friend. He was a good chap. But it had been more than a year since he was in a coma, and, even if he was out he probably had forgotten about her. She almost had. Who else? Who else would miss her?

She laid in the bed, and tried to clear her mind, like she had practiced with Master Luke. _I need to find my center. I need to find the Force. The Force will help me. please...?_

Having nothing else to do, she headed towards the training room, to talk to him. He should've been there. He was obsessed with his powers, with the Force. He was sitting there. Meditating. _since when do the sith meditate._ She scoffed to make her presence known.

''I am not a sith.'' He answered her thoughts out loud while looking at her. He saw the annoyance in her face. ''You are almost screaming in my head. I have no choice. I am not probing you. Like you so freely do with me now.''

''So, do you want me to beat you up again? You can finally have real training, instead of just punching the air, for your anger management'' she said in a condescending tone.

He turned his head, got up and summoned his lightsaber. ''Didnt Luke Skywalker just tell you not to play anymore?'' his face was blank again. She felt her heart pounding. ''The whole galaxy could hear him after you exposed him Rey,'' he twirled his lightsaber.

Rey didnt wait a single second more. She called to her lightsaber, and charged at it. She was calm at first, giving the advantage to Kylo Ren. He started striking her faster and faster, making her blood boiling harder. He was tall. So much taller than her. She had to spend more energy jumping towards him. Soon, Rey's anger was building up. She realized again, her advantage was agility. Her strikes were becoming more and more brisk, quick and deadly. She felt herself proud and cocky. He almost stepped back, which further reassured her strength. She ducked him fast and decided to hurt him, her lightsaber touching him three times in his arms.

 _psssst._

''What are you going to do with that information?'' She smelled the burnt human flesh. Kylo Ren didnt say a word however. He was frustrated. But together. He now had three light scars in his arms, courtesy of Rey. She smiled and got herself ready for another attack. _this is not you. you are a Child of the Force, but you are not above all life._ She felt sick in her stomach. She jumped back. Regret. She wouldnt have felt like this in Jak'ku. She wouldn't have thought twice to hurt, to kill some garbage species that would dare attack her. In Jak'ku, she would've finished him, after what he'd done. _I am a child of the Force. I need to bide the laws of the Jedi._

''I am done here. Go heal yourself'' she heard herself say.

''You know I dont care for a bunch of scars'' he looked at her, as if trying to make her feel better. ''But it is not true. This is you. You are a survivor.''

She did not know whether he was being true or mocking her.

''I am not probing your mind but I can sense you don't believe me. I am being true. Even Supreme Leader Snoke told us that.'' he said, checking his wounds ''I never listened to anyone who told me that. And it got me here'' he walked towards her, lightsaber down ''But it will get you out of here. So maybe you know better.'' he went quiet, waiting for her response.

Rey was not having any of it. ''Dont you have a destiny to fulfill, or something to finish? Why are you so interested in everything that I do?'' She stepped closer to him. Curious. ''Why are you so drawn to me? What do you want from me Kylo Ren?'' She only later realized that he was marching closer to her. He was so big, walking wasn't an option for him. But she didn't feel threatened.

Their bodies were just inches apart. She felt the jitters, the electricity. That heat that was always there, the anger, the curiosity, since the first day she saw him, strapped in that torture chair. Situation much different now, yet the same feeling of heat, fear and excitement always surfaced, every time they were this close. She felt the sweat in her palms, touching the warm metal of the lightsaber's handle. His dark, curly hair, framing his face with a dark aura fell softly around his cheekbones. She traced the lines of his face again. Harsh. Graceful, but harsh.

''I want you to know the potential you have, what you can be.'' He didnt smile nor grunt. His face standing plain as always, tried to hide every emotion that might've pre existed inside that head. He put his arms straight above her.

She froze. She was surrounded by him. She didn't know whether to attack, or wait. She didnt realise she was between him and the wall. He leaned close enough, closer and their faces would touch. Her heart started pounding off her chest. _what is he about to do?_ She looked at his hand. His chaotic red lightsaber was still on. Was he about to cut her? Then he touched her forehead with his and closed his eyes.

''Rey...'' he whispered in the lowest voice he could manage as he took a small breath, his chest rising slightly. He seemed in pain ''I have to tell you something'' he exhaled,''...something Ive never dared to say anyone...not even myself.'' His eyes. They stroke the same pain _. Is this the same pain he had when he killed Han Solo?_ Rey stopped breathing, while checking his lightsaber again and again. Hear heart pounding out of her chest. She kept quiet. She was still angry, but curious. Scared.

''Tell me'' she said as quietly as possible.

He didnt say anything for a long minute. It felt like an eternity for Rey's heartbeats. Nor he moved. Their foreheads still touching. Then the palm of his right hand rested on the back of her head.

''I killed him,'' he said in his unique dark, low voice. _which one? You've killed thousands!_ ''No, I killed him, but...'' his eyes were closed. Rey would swear she saw a tear running down his face. She kept looking at the lightsaber. Searching for his next movement, she somehow, knew whom he was talking about. ''I wish I will see him again.'' He hesitated. Yes, she knew very well whom he meant. ''I...hope you get to meet him one day,'' He was almost silently sobbing. Rey felt the heat in his face. But she was frozen. Her eyes wide open, looking at his face. She could not help but gaze. She had never been this close to him... She had never seen him like this before. She forgot to guard his lightsaber hand. So she moved.

''I hope I will'' she nodded. He straightened up, opening up space for her to leave. But she didnt. They both lingered there. _what am i doing. why dont i want to look away. what is this._ He moved again, breaking eye contact. This time, he took a distance.

''Leave, Scavenger.'' he said. His lightsaber went off. Rey didnt say anything. She hadnt processed what had happened yet. She left the room that twilight, wondering if she was ever going to meet him. The so famous young boy that everyone had loved, the long dead, the prodigy that was Ben Solo.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

''There are a lot of people waiting for you'' mumbled Luke, seconds before the main gate opened.

Coming down the Falcon, she didnt expect the whole resistance to had appeared for her. But they had. Most of them. She could only remember about four to five of them.

Leia approached her first.

''I felt the Force Rey. It is incredible.'' she said while scanning her. ''Not even my father was this powerful. But lets talk food first.'' She changed the subject as soon as she saw Reys tired reaction.

''We will have to put you immediately under cammo Rey, im sorry for that. You have around four to five days to enjoy, but you need to continue your training with Luke. For the sake of all of us'' Leias face, as unreadable as it was, showed a bit of remorse.

She was ecstatic but mainly overwhelmed. She knew almost none of them until she spotted Finn and saw how he had changed. He headed towards her, his face tall and proud. _what has he been up to?_ He was definitively more confident, and more built than he was two years ago. He didn't grab her hand this time. She missed that.

She prepared for a storm of questions, seeing that he had started to talk five metres before he even reacher her.

''You have made everyone worry so much? me! Where had you been gone? Luke said he sent you on a mission, but thats so dangerous! After what? one year of training! You werent here when I woke up! Imagine how I felt, after the girl I risked my life for is somewhere else studying mojo jojo Force magic stuff?!'' He said, joy clearly radiating off his face.

She leaned and hugged him. That would make him shut up.

''I missed you Finn!'' she said grinning. ''I missed a face that can express emotions..you have no idea!''

''I do. Bare in mind that I have to work with some of the Skywalkers too.'' he started whispering, '' You know they say that she didnt cry when Han Solo died?''

''Finn!'' Rey shushed him, embarrassed and appalled that he would dare say such things about his General when she was standing ten meters away. They walked towards the base, as everyone had already scattered to their daily duties. Luke and Leia had already gone, even before she'd said another word to him.

''Is true! No wonder their children have issues!'' He was now clearly joking to make Rey feel more welcomed and comfortable. But it did the opposite.

She was caught off guard.

''Children? They have more than that creature that is trying to wipe us all off the existence'' her skin pinched at the thought. She was confused, ''No one-...''

''Yeah, they have one other daughter. Completely Leia. Unapproachable. Made of steel. Never heard her speak a word to someone that is not a commander'' His joy wasnt gone however, ''So Ive just stick with Poe, Poe Dameron, the BB8 unit guy, remember him? Hes fun.'' She really did miss Finn. Something about him made her feel so secure and free. In his eyes, she was unbeatable, and that gave her strength.

''Finn, I will need to take a rest. I am exhausted. Ive been flying the Falcon for most of the time, with all the other ships trying to fetch us to the First Order.'' she felt bad. she really missed him and what he represented. His carelessness. Her innocent self. She didnt wanted to leave him like that. but her eyes and her nerves were giving up.

''Of course, let me show you to the rooms, yours is next to mine. I book it every week in case you come'' his face was glowing. She loved him. He is the nicest person she ever knew. And he came from that forsaken place.

Entering the room, she didnt even think of washing her face. she went straight for the bed. Her first image, was that of the last day she spent at that Temple. None of them had spoken to each other that day. She visited the garden as she would every day, and meditate there. Then, him, having felt Luke's presence, showed up at the door in front of the garden. She had felt him too and glanced at him.

Hed changed into his First Order clothes. She realized she didnt like that. Everything was on but his mask. _just like that? you change your clothes and suddenly youre a monster?_ She knew he could hear her thoughts. They didnt break eye contact until Luke's presence was undeniably strong. He put his mask on and left the porch. She didnt like the image of him, dressed all black, in a mask, in their garden. The contrast was unsettling. It felt foreign. It felt wrong.

Part of her was glad that he didnt stay long after he put on the mask. _he is the enemy. again._

 _He is the enemy._

 _He, is the enemy...is he?_

 _._

 _._

 _Am I the enemy?...Rey?_

Soon she dove into the deep dark arms of her sleep.

* * *

 _Control. Breathe._

 _Control your energy Rey. You should not expose yourself._

 _Be aware. Breathe._

But she wanted to leave. She had never been bound for so long to something, or someone. And Luke's voice felt like her own now. He was there, in every moment of her day. She wanted to help at the resistance. _really help._ She hadnt seen Finn in five months, and he wasnt allowed to leave the base, to visit her. She felt alone most of the time.

Not the same as in Jak'ku. In Jak'ku, she had a purpose. She would make small talk from time to time with travellers, or refugees from other planets, she would listen to their stories and legends, and she would imagine going on those adventures too. And she did. Only it wasn't like she expected. Luke was powerful, and he helped her overcome many fears and obstacles, but he was not one someone she could have a casual conversation with. Is not that Luke wasn't fun...he tried, but neither of them gave to much thought into anything that wouldn't help the training sessions. And apart from that, his jokes were extremely outdated.

She already knew everything there was to know from him. She learned everything there was to learn. She knew it. He knew it. _then why arent we proceeding with our plan?_ She was scared that he had maybe changed his mind, than maybe she wasnt, in the end, the Chosen One.

 _Focus Rey. Your mind is wandering again._

Almost every session would end like this. Four hours into meditation, and she would her thoughts would trail to the usual case. She opened her eyes.

From the hill she stood on and to boulder beneath her legs, she had learned the location of every single rock there was. And so with the next hill, and so with the next. _nothing is new. Everything is always the same. Like Jak'ku. Why did I leave? At least there it doesn't rain twice a day._

But her impatience didnt spring from that. She was used to waiting, for thats whats her days in Jak'ku consisted of. But that was it. In Jak'ku, she had a motive. Someone to wait for. Something worth waiting for. Something to look forward.

Not that the war against the First Order wasnt worth it. It was on the contrary, all she could think about. But she had no say in anything. She was not allowed to be in public. She was never allowed to travel due daytime, she was not allwed to participate in their missions. She was not allowed to see them. Not even Finn. She thought she would see more of him, once they reunited at the Resistance base. But Finn would travel all the time in his missions, and yet she, the most so called powerful Jedi to ever been talked about, she, was hiding in a deserted planet. _All in due time._ Luke would say. _All in due time._

She got up and left the boulder she was standing on, mentally searching for Luke. He would probably be near the sea, meditating. _he is a good man. give him a rest._ she thought. He had tried, all his young life, to redeem Darth Vader, and then Kylo Ren for the rest of it. And she could feel the remorse he felt every time one of their names were mentioned. His life did not belong to him, and he would have had accepted that, if it wasn't for each of his kin, dedicating their lives to the darkness.

Darth Vader, the gruesome powerful being that she'd heard of only in her most faint memories of her nana's fairytales. She always thought he was a character created to put kids to sleep. A dark being that would haunt you if you gave in on the evil. But she had been sitting with Luke near the fire in a lonesome night, with bright shining stars, and had the privilege of listening to the whole story, as detailed as one can be, of how one man came to a full circle of light and darkness.

Darth Vader, formerly known as Anakin Skywalker, had more than enough reasons to turn to the dark side. _talk about self fulfilling prophecy._ But, no matter how much she asked, or how much she dug into it, nothing would make actual sense, as to why Kylo Ren would abandon his name, his family, and Luke, just so he could taste the dark side. Had he been that foolish? Just because of a caprice?

The thought of leaving your family behind, would anger her initially, when she first heard of Kylo Ren, but now it didnt matter to her anymore. For whatever reasons he did it, it didnt matter why or how. One thing mattered: He was her enemy, and she had to beat him.

 _Not just him Rey._

She turned her head, and saw Luke following her on her meditative walk. But he wasn't intimidating. She almost never saw him as a frightening fighter. He had exceptional skills, and his Force was in a perfect balance, but she could not get herself to be intimidated by the old man. Life had been unjust to him, but the spark of hope had never left his eyes.

''I know,'' she said out loud. ''Is Snoke and his Knights of Ren that we have to defeat, then the army, then the General and so and so...'' her voice monotone.

''Is not just the Knights of Ren. Each of them is as skilled as Kylo Ren. Each of them is as deadly and will not hesitate to kill you in an instant. Each of them had to do a horrible deed like Kylo Ren did, in order to earn their place. Do not underestimate none of them Rey.'' Luke always took a stern voice when it came to them. _poor man. what have they done to you._

 _''_ Then why did he spare me?'' She was genuinely puzzled. After theyd left that Temple, she heard of how the First Order had wiped out yet another civilization of innocents, under, of course, Kylo Ren's orders. ''You've never answered me this. You say they are lethal, yet he didn't...'' She knew he was lethal, and every day, if not Luke's, or Leias, someone else's suffering energy would remind her of it. But, she could never point as to why, why he spared her. Not only spared her, but healed her, feed her...

''I do not know Rey. He has completely blocked me, which, on the other hand is also fortunate for us. But he is cunning and a very manipulative being Rey. He will not stop until he gets what he wants. He is... a determined man'' Luke looked at her. His eyes always filled with sadness when he talked about him.

She knew silence was about to take over now, so she didnt push further.

* * *

''How is it going? Anything exciting this week? Some boulder challenged you this time?'' Even though his wide smile never failed to lighten up his whole face, Finn seemed distracted. He kept looking around him, as if he was waiting for someone.

''Oh you know, the usual. I lift things, and then throw them'' Rey rested her face on her arms, as she smiled at the small hologram on the table. ''Is not that hard, mr newbie pilot of the Resistance'' her eyebrows arched, and a devious smile went across her face.

''What!? You know?'' His expression was priceless. ''Who told you? Come on!''

Rey started laughing. ''What? You know I know everything right? Better not lie to me mr Pilot'' her giggles filled the room.

''You ruined a perfect surprise thats what you did you... Scavenger!'' After holding an angry face for some seconds he gave in and started laughing with her.As they were talking, Poe joined in, putting his left arm across Finn.

''This guy, he has a gift I tell you. So fast, agile and deadly like, wpheew'' he said, as he mocked a flying shuttle with his other hand. ''Dude's got talent. But his teacher deserves all the credit'' he said as he winked at Rey. Poe's charms and swagger could cut through the hologram. No wonder everyone was in love with him.

''I suppose this teacher is the best pilot of the galaxy?'' Rey played along.

''Man, do you have to interrupt each holocommunication we have? I am trying to have a conversation here!'' Finn artifice whining made her smile.

''Yeah.'' he said, clearly content, while trying to avoid Finn's pseudo punches.

Rey looked at the galactic sensors in front of her. Her expression changed slightly.

''Boys, I gotta wrap it up'' but they were too busy bickering for whatever reason they were talking before. ''Guys, guys...Finn...Finn! I gotta go'' she couldnt help but smile when both of them took a stance and greeted her, military style. ''Okay now, you goofy nerds, I have to say goodbye, something came up. See you when I see you. Finn, take care of Poe, dont let his hair get too tangled on that helmet of his'' she waited for their response, while chewing the last snack there was left.

''Goodbye Rey, take care of yourself. I mean it!'' Both of them moved closer for each to say it properly, until the hologram switched off.

She checked the sensors again, and immediately felt Luke's presence approaching. He had been waiting for her conversation to end.

''Did you see it?'' They looked at each other.

''I felt it.''

''Do you have any idea what it is?''

''No, just that it is strong enough to cause a shift in the Force'' Luke's eyebrows narrowed together. ''It seems familiar to me...Im not gonna lie''

''Do you think its him?'' Her eyes were shining. She felt guilty to admit that she had longed for a proper fight for a long time.

''I am not sure. I will go after it, you sta-''

''No I am coming Luke!'' Rey was angry. ''How many days have I spent doing nothing but monotone training, in which I have excelled at? You know I can handle it! You know I am strong enough! I am stronger than you Luke. You know it!'' her nostrils were flared.

''You are not coming, and you know it.''

''This is nonsense, what have you been training me for so long? To lift up rocks?''

''Rey, when will you understand what an asset you are to us! I cannot spare your life for something this petty! You are their last hidden card. We have to be careful!'' for the first time that month, Luke raised his voice again.

Rey looked at him frustrated and disappointed. Mostly disappointed. _whom did he mean by we?_

But he didnt wait for her to say more. He left the room, his lightsaber following his hand.

 _He is impossible. When am I ever going to.. to be of use? What did he mean by we on top of all that. What was all that?_

She turned around to the screen again. The sensors were off the charts. What ever was approaching, it was approaching fast. And it was about to make an entrance. Rey sat down letting out a sigh. _when will that old man understand? no one restrained him from his fate._

 _He is not restraining you, he is sparing you._ That voice again. It was not the same voice that spoke to her usually. This one was more amicable, familiar, soothing.

 _What is he sparing me for?_ But no answer came to her this time.

She focused on Luke but was trying to block her. _Luke let me help you._ She felt his fear. He was frightened. _Scared of what? or Whom? Why? What was it out there?_ She tried to focus on the other Force. Then she learned the reason why. Why Luke dreaded this day. Her eyes widened.

* * *

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 **Authors note** : So sorry I am so late. No i have not abandoned the fanfic, is stronger than ever i just didnt have time to edit and reread the chapters in order to make them ready to publish. Life hits you hard with uni work and especially when you have 4 subjects you need to give. Anyway, i want to clarify something as for this chapter. First of, yes I Kylo Ren has a sister and i will go into that detail later, but im basically going by their universe with this one. Second, as I said im trying to make Luke feel like an old grandpa friend so I will not make him an asshole.

Third, well i hope you all enjoyed the dvd release of TFA and have a great weekend.

Comments and Feedback as always are much appreciated. Love to ya'll

XX


	14. Chapter 14

Rey had been running for what it felt like forever. The sun had set. She sensed Luke's aura, he was close. So were them. Her heart was pounding and her vision was almost a blur but soon everything would make sense.

She gripped her lightsaber tightly. Soon everything would make sense.

She distinguished Luke's robes in the distance. And his blue lightsaber gracefully following his moves. And then another lightsaber. Red was flickering all over the place. She didn't have time to think, just act. The closer she went, the clearer it was. Even though the velvet twilight gave them a degree of coverage, the panoramic battle field was painted clearly in front of her.

The Knights of Ren were there. All of them. They had cornered Luke in a half circle. And they were expecting her. _i am an happened before and I lost. I lost bad._ But why wasnt Luke doing anything?

It didnt take long for her to realize that they were force choking him, and they had arrested his telepathy too.

''Stop it!'' she screamed at them, marching down the hill, letting the anger take over her senses. Reminding herself of a younger Rey, back in Jak'ku, willing to stand up to every creature that dared bully her. But these creatures, they weren't bullies. ''You monsters! Stop what you are doing! Let him go!'' she thought her voice would tremble, but it came out bold, loud and demanding. She couldn't help but feel proud of herself.

''Take her,'' the guttural voice sent chills down her spine. ''If she resists, terminate her'' The voice wasn't coming from the same figure. She managed to get a last clear glance at them before realizing that not all of them were there. One was missing. But she didnt have more time to think. She saw four of them charging at her, while another one was clearly trying to arrest her Force. She took a deep breath before losing every moment to the speed. Everything happened too fast.

She managed to duck the first two figures, but was too slow for the third one. The sound of the red beam touching her skin was dreadful. The pain. The sting. She'd forgotten the deep burn it gave to human flesh. _focus Rey. shift the pain._

She felt her body swiftly jumping through and avoiding the last two flaming red sticks, one coming from her left, parallel to her shoulder, the other one from her right, almost touching her. Rolling enough to create space between them and herself, she she stood in three and ignited her lightsaber.

Slowly breathing and tuning her mind to their point of view, she tried to visualize their next moves. They were trying very hard to arrest her Force, but somehow, she was battling that quite gracefully. A rush of adrenaline settled in her body. She stood her ground and listened to the earth.

From the growing darkness she saw two red flickers approach her fast, but she could sense it was actually four of them about to come at her. A smirk went through her face. She was ready. She channeled enough Force to freeze the closest knights to her side, just in time to escape their line sight of attack and focus on the next ones.

It felt exhilarating. She felt as if she was dancing. Flowing around them. All of them. She was right where she needed to be. Duck. Dive. Strike. The sound of colliding beams, along with the sound of her lightsaber slashing their flesh were in a perfect harmony with the flickering colours that would contrast the darkness around them.

The Force was with her. It felt like music.

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* * *

It looked like a high end performance. From where he was standing from. She was moving so gracefully. Strong and fierce, but in an elegant way. Nobility. She took everything with spirit. _Is she smiling?_

He could hear her every breath. Her moves reminded him of someone. Not Luke. Ever so slight, she paced it perfectly with her movement and her rhythm. He noticed she wasnt distressed, or scared or angry. She was...delighted?... or excited?

He was happy he had his mask on. He locked his eyes on Luke. Before he even saw him, he knew he was suffering. Trying so hard to slip the grip of two most powerful Ren Knights, with no avail. He felt his pain deep. But he had no choice.

He called for Luke's lightsaber. It immediately came to him, no hesitation, no other strings holding it back. Part of him felt sorry for Luke, so many people have betrayed him.

He handed the weapon to the Knight next to him. He nodded and left.

His attention shifted immediately back at the fight. She was still struggling with the four she begun with. His stomach unsettled. He knew their strategy. Somehow an old foreign feeling took place in his nerves again. He attentively followed their every move, finding himself wishing that the losers were his brothers. His mouth twitched.

The darkness was falling harder. Soon, she'd have to use her Force to feel them. They were bred to fight in the night. They were made to be one with the night, the darkness. He could not help but gaze at the extraordinary view he had in front of him. Their polished bright red colliding with her lightsaber, so fast as he had to concentrate to keep his attention on her.

He felt Luke's growing agony, and looking for the reason why, his eyes fell on the two shadows Force choking him. They'd said something to him. _no._

He marched towards them, his irritation clenching his fists, when he felt a sudden blockade. He saw the other Knight, his palm raised to face his direction.

''Stay.'' Behind the mask, laid a thick, dark voice he knew too well. Kylo Ren halted. His breathing was heavier. _He_ wasn't allowed to do anything?

He looked on his side. In almost complete darkness, he could barely see anything but the flashing red that was going against her, about four meters away from him. He could just about follow her face, from the beam of her own lightsaber. Something had changed though. Her stance was stiffer. Her strikes angrier. She was more aggressive. More chaotic. She had started to let out groans every now and then. Mirroring her inner anger. She was getting tired. Her face was glowing from sweat and tears. Her eyes had a spark of wilderness on them.

And the Kinghts were more vicious than ever. He knew they feed on her weakness. He did that on others too. The reason Snoke chose those particular people was their articulate ability to fuel themselves from others pain, anger, confusion and suffering-

His mind went blank when it happened. He felt it before anyone else.

.

.

.

Rey was struggling on filling her lungs with air. She was tired. Her breathing was too frequent. She had started to feel the long uncomfortable pain of muscle tiredness. Her wounds weren't helping either. Her sweat running in her forehead blurred her vision further, and so did the pitch black forest they were standing on. _why is it always the forest._

Throughout the time, she had analyzed each of their fighting styles. Two of them were like an open book. For her, they were her point of reference for the next move. One of them, the smallest, the most agile one, was so chaotic he was almost unpredictable. He was probably a she. She tired her. And then the other one...well, they were going for the kill. They would strike around one to two times, after the first three had had their share of her. It was a good strategy. One she wasn't fully prepared for.

He was probably the one who drove the lightsaber right through her gut.

For what couldve been seconds, while it felt like forever, she didnt even feel anything. Inertia made her continue fighting, until the second one pierced through her shoulder. She looked down, horrified at the two red beams piercing her body like it was made of leaves.

She couldnt breathe. But the pain didnt kick in yet. The adrenaline just made her angry. She tried to fight back, but neither her arms nor her legs were obeying her. Her groans were the only thing that her body seemed to be letting out. She felt the cold and she felt empty, while the air was freely running through her body. After another breath, everything became a dream. Like a memory, or one of her visions.

She remember seeing a certain blood red cross guarded blade coming in her direction while all of the shadows surrounding her simultaneously turning towards him.

She felt her body falling in the ground, distorting her vision. The ground was stone cold but her body was burning towards it. She saw Luke falling on his knees in the distance, and thumps in the ground she was lying in.

She breathed out and closed her eyes.

.

.

.

* * *

He was too late. Time stopped and everything was moving slowly as his heart dropped and his knees went weak.

Like hunters to its prey with their blood thirst and hunger for the kill, it was just mere moments when the another red beam went through her shoulder too. He felt the pierce as if it was his. Kylo Ren felt his stomach when he looked at her face. The pain had left her eyes, there was just...void. What he was about to do, would determine his destiny for the life to come. He didnt think twice and ignited his lightsaber, impaling through the closest knight to him. The red glow, the brunt flesh and his stance, shifted the other's attention on him, releasing Luke and Rey at the same time. He saw the red flicker leaving Rey's body and going for him. Rey's body fell heavy into the ground, only leaving moments to spare for her life.

 _help me._

The Knights that were surrounding her turned around and charged at him, each strike hard and precise, barely leaving him time to dodge them. On his left, he felt Luke using the Force, battling to block the two others. Kylo Ren didnt wait long. They were fighting, but they were rather defending themselves than else. He knew none of them was going to kill him. None of them would dishonor their name. They had dedicated too much of their lives to live the title they did now. They would never throw that away for one of his tantrums. But he was willing to. He had nothing to lose. Not anymore.

Kylo saw nothing but red. Red flickers, beams clashing and grunts. One after the other, the four of them plunged to the ground, drawing their last breath, spelling a word that would've caused him grave agony years before; traitor. After he was finished with them, he marched towards the ones Luke was holding still.

''Let them go!'' he said to Luke, ''They know what awaits for them now that they have defied my orders!'' but Luke didnt flinch. Angrily Kylo Ren turned his head towards the forest. His anger was its own being now. Force choking one of the hidden Knights, the one who had the audacity to hold him back, was giving him pleasure.

''Where are they?!'' He screamed, while dragging him closer through the Force, whose feet werent touching the ground still. The man couldnt do anything but squeamishly grasp for air. _how pathetic._ He tried to probe his mind for information, but he knew the answer even without doing that. After making sure his last breath was out, he dropped him to the ground.

Breathing heavily, he turned his head towards Luke who hadn't given up on immobilizing the Knights. Luke's eyes were wide and dead as he looked at the fallen bodies on the ground. A tear had drawn a shimmering line on his face.

''You will tell us where they are-'' Luke tried to use the force to interrogate them before he felt Kylo using the Force to throw towards the trees.

''They don't have that information. The ones who have, already left the planet. They need to pay for their actions'' Kylo's gaze terrified Luke. He remembered the last time he'd seen his nephew, and how the same feeling had taken over him and all of his being.

''Where is your camp?'' his voice coarse and angry, did not change the look on his face. He pointed at Rey's body. ''She has almost no life left in her''

''East of the hills, then follow the coordinates I'll give you,'' Luke closed his eyes. ''Do you know what happened to the others?'' he said calmly, althoug his voice filled with remorse.

Kylo Ren didn't say anything but turned around and moved towards the pile of bodies, trying to get to Rey's. While making his way, he took his helmet off and threw it to the ground along with his mantel. He bent his knees and leaned closer to her to listen to her heart. He lightly pressed his left fingers to pick the strands of hair away from her face. _shes so cold._ Her heartbeat was weak, but still there.

''They are gone. The ship left, along with your lightsaber. There is nothing we can do now. Ill take her to my base, there is no time for your tricks.'' his voice stabilized, but he didnt stay. With her in his arms, he went towards the forest and disappeared behind the trees.

.

.

.

Kylo marched through the main gate with the girl in his arms and he somehow felt familiar to holding her this way. Hurrying through the main quarters he didnt remember where the healing kit was. Leaving the girl on his bed, his hopes for the emergent medicine laid on the laboratory next to the piloting quarters. With one breath, he went through all the medicinal supply he had, nothing strong enough to recuperate whole flesh. He felt his heartbeat burn his head and a sting in his chest to the thought of her death. Of a lost hope. Crouching by the Z cupboard, he looked down at his hands and how they were shaking, when a faded-almost-lost memory zapped into his eyes. He had to do it all by the Force. _survive._ He hadn't practiced healing in more than ten years. _reach.. with my mind...something..bones..no! flesh.. she has been impaled...something about guiding her Force...Focus!_

He ran to the bed by her side and gathered all the will and focus he could as he touched her shoulder and her torso. She had become cold as earthand still as stone. _no._ He put his ear to her chest. She still has a heart beat.

Frustrated, he got up and shouted to his damnation. What would be his undoing? Saving her, or leaving her body get cold until the last midichlorian was gone?

''Damn you!''

Sitting by her side again, Kylo took a deep breath and tried to normalize his breathing. _remember the training. Mother was so invested in it. remember mother. I was hurt. I had fallen off my pod. yes._ He breathed in slowly, and let it out slowly, while positioning his hands on her shoulder and torso again self assured for what was to follow.

Breathe in. _feel her pain...reach inside..cut through the pain... the coldness...relax...Rey...listen to my voice...give the Force the strength to heal you..._ Breathe out.

Breathe in. _mend her flesh...mend her bones...reach deeper...focus...relax...touch the Force...let it heal..._ Breathe out.

A slight ripple in the force made him shiver. She wasn't gone.

He opened his eyes, and saw her chest rising higher, her breaths becoming fuller. The flesh in her insides was slowly, but steadily growing back. He sighed, mesmerized at her ability to perceive the Force in such a level, even when she was beaten and battered to the verge of death. He felt how natural the flow of the Force was in her, and he could not help but feel the uneasiness of jealousy in his head. She was a natural at such a Force, the same of what he had suffered and tortured himself up in order to attain for years.

Breathe in. _Rey...you are doing well...trust the Force...let it heal you...let it get through to you...it will not hurt you...relax...mend her flesh...mend her bones...reach the Force..._ Breathe out. He didnt know whether he was talking to her or to himself for that time. But it was working. He noticed that the healing wouldn't stop even once he shifted his focus away from her. She took it upon herself, to heal herself. Fascinated at her power, he forgot all about his years of misery trying to achieve what she had. Kylo could not help but look at her body, creating itself from nothing like pure energy. He could not help but stare in awe, for he could almost see the colour of her energy, covering her in a velvety invisible shield.

As soon as he felt Luke's presence he stood up, tall and broad igniting his lightsaber and pointing at him. But Luke neither moved, nor seemed to have any intention to use the Force.

''I need to see if-'' Kylo lowered his lightsaber and left room for him near Rey's bed without saying a word. Luke slowly approached the bed, gently hovering his hands around her. His eyes were closed, and he was concentrated on the matter at hand. After a while, he lowered his hands inside his mantel and looked towards Kylo with a saddened look, but a smile had crept in the corners of his mouth.

''You did a good job. She is well enough to heal herself now. It will take days, but she will survive.'' his voice was wheezy, and unsure. ''You did a good job. Thank you for that''

''You said that once, already.'' He spoke, while avoiding looking at Luke in the eyes. ''She will have to stay here until she can recuperate, you had your chance with her and you couldn't teach or protect her.'' his deep voice echoed in the room. ''You need to leave now before I change my mind and kill you!'' The red beam that followed assured Luke that he was serious. For a moment, silenced covered the room with an uncomfortable thin veil.

''I know'' said Luke.

Not saying another word he threw his shall over his head and left for the door.

''Ben...'' Luke turned around, trying to find his eyes. ''Please, find it in yourself to guide her towards the right path. She is our last hope.'' Kylo raised his eyes to look at him for a slight moment, and then turned around by lowering his body beside her. He heard the door swoosh close and Luke's footsteps becoming faint, as the distance between the two grew.

He was looking at her, as her chest rose peacefully, with each breath she took.

''What have I done...'' he whispered slowly, while burying his face between his palms.

* * *

 **Authors note:** Hiya everyone. I sincerely hope you enjoy these new chapters, I sat down today after watching TFA last night, so is like phresh out of my head, the characters and their behaviors, so i think its an improved version. I was more calm these days so I managed to edit so much of my last writings so I will be posting quite frequently this week, until the posting comes up to date to what Ive written. It gets really good, believe me they will get together, but not in the conventional way. More like in an angsty please-get-together kind of way. Im one of those tumblr people that believe that you dont have to have them kiss in order to make the reader angsty and sweaty. But when they kiss, it will all be worth it.

Anyway, here ya go. I really hope you like it. Please leave your feedback on what can I improve or what am i doing right.

Peace to you all guys, have a lovely week!

xx

KingpINK


	15. Chapter 15

A strong clean scent woke Rey as she opened her eyes slowly, recollecting her vision from a blur. _Where am I_? _what..._ Slowly, as her eyesight was becoming clearer, she could tell that the room was far too bright and the viridian blue reflected far too much of the outdoor sun. The strong hygienic smell uncomfortably stung her nose. It was too clean to her comfort... _where am i?..am I..._ She tried to look around and move her arms, ... _a prisoner?..._ but the excruciating pain settled in her chest, spreading in her whole body. She gave up trying to move when her left shoulder felt as if someone was weighting on her, thousands of knives piercing deep in her skin, yet it didnt feel numb...rather felt like a deep, insistent throbbing pain that refused to go away, only fading slightly within intervals, only to return more agonizing than ever. A defeated sigh left with along with her breath and she gave up trying to move.

Memories and flashes of red, ever coming closer to her face kept coming back to her, the four of them charging at her hungry for blood and death, and Luke...where was he? Was he still alive? Were the others alive? She knew she was. She caught herself hyperventilating and her eyes watering over her vision once again. How was she alive? _How?!_

Rey wished she had died.

She had failed...she had failed miserably...She had wished the pain away from the moment she opened her eyes. Her eyes couldn't hold the tears that were tracing her face anymore.

At first, her sob was quiet. Then her tears bursting with her every breath hurting her lungs and her shoulder. She clenched her right fist, and turned her head to the side. Everything hurt. Every bone in her body shivered with pain, anger and loathe. A nauseating stomach followed her cry, as if it wasnt enough of a punishment her body was giving itself. Between her agony and a blurry veil that her tears had laid on her eyes, she saw a dark figure approaching. Her heartbeat followed her panic and became more and more frequent with each step the figure was closer to her.

''Who ar-'' after the words that she was about to say stung in her throat, she decided that they werent worth the pain. Rey figured that if they wanted her dead by now, she would've left this world long ago. She was wounded, helpless, a feeling she'd sworn years ago she would never have to face again. Yet she felt a warm touch in her left hand. Her eyes widened, and the stillness helped her focus on the fact that she could feel her left hand. A sigh of relief left her lips.

 _Channel the Force...let it help you...heal yourself.-_ Kylo Ren's voice echoed in her thoughts, and she could not help but shiver at the feeling, as the deep voice materialized the energy inside her. She couldn't possibly gather herself to think that that voice belonged to the hand that was holding hers. His voice, was the voice of the enemy. His voice...He was trying to heal her. His deep, soothing, profound voice... As her eyes were clearing the tears away, she saw his figure sitting by her side. She blinked once or twice to take a better look at him. He had changed.

His long, sharp face had no trace of innocence anymore. The pale and fair complexion was covered with olive undertones, and many more freckles. It seemed rougher and even more tired than it used to be. The crows feet near his eyes were the testament to his sun exposure, a too well known feature to her, as they seemed like they gracefully streaked his eyes with his earlier fair hue. He felt her presence inside his thought and lifted his head, locking his eyes with hers.

His eyes, they had remained the same.

''Wha...what am I doing here?'' She managed to cough out the words, despite the pain extending to her ribcage and torso. ''What happened...out there...why..? She squinted her eyes to adjust herself to the brightness, ignoring the tears that burned her eyes. She wanted to look at him, and show that she was able of some grace, even in her worst.

''You were hurt badly. You were impaled by two lightsabers but you managed to recover. You are going to be fine.'' He said softly, as if he was keeping his voice low to not agitate her hearing.

''How am I...alive?'' her breaths were slower now, but her chest would shiver once in a while to keep up with her tears.

''You are not someone to run when things get dire. You...you stand your ground.'' He shook his head. His voice always low, yet clear. ''You have passion and you are...uncompromising. Ive seen it. Ive felt it.'' She didnt need to invade his thoughts to know that he was telling the truth. _he means it._

''It was not how It went in my mind'' she whispered ''But why do you care? You try to kill us'' her voice, trying to pitch higher, almost broke. Every move and breath she took put her in pain. She felt her body trembling. _''_ Where are the rest of them?" Rey spoke lastly, as she heard her voice being followed by a faint signal in the monitor.

''You need to rest. I will put you to sleep now. Focus your Force on you flesh and bones, for a faster healing process'' He said while getting up and looking at the monitor next to her bed. He pressed some buttons on the health monitor and checked her side monitor, before he made his way out of the room. Rey traced his figure as he left her eyesight, and sensed his aura leave the room. Her eyes started to become heavier and heavier and her pain slowly fading away, leaving room for a numbness she was wishing since she woke up.

 _Finally._

* * *

He would come ever so frequently to check on her. Sometimes, while hibernating, she could feel him pace around in her room. His presence didn't concern her anymore. What concerned her were the reasons he did what he did. It had been the second time that he took it upon himself to save her life. All she had done was trying to kill him, every time they'd met, with no intention to give up even in the future. But he seemed to ignore the fact that they were enemies, even that she owed him the scar that lied across his face, a permanent reminder of their interactions.

After a while, she learned to relax when he was around. It hurt her to admit that his company made her days more bearable. It reminded her that life existed outside the purgatorial she'd built inside her thoughts. She once even tried to probe into his mind, and he let her. His thoughts were unwelcoming. But he wasnt. She knew he was trying.

She knew that when he wasnt training, or in her room, he'd spent a lot of time in his room, fixing something. The scars and wounds in her body had made her weak to use the Force, for she couldn't bring herself to discover what.

She knew it was him, who saved her and Luke. She knew it was him who carried her, with a wounded body about to give up,to his ship. But she didnt know why. _Does he still want to teach me? Has he not given up yet? What is it with him?_

Between days she felt Luke's presence nearby the base. He was waiting for a wrong move from Kylo Ren, as of this far he'd only help her with medicinal supplies that Luke didn't have. He had other ways to communicate with her, even when she was asleep, encouraging her Force, and showing her new ways to use her healing abilities. Her wounds were healing fast with Luke's guiding, but she knew enough about the Force to know that having Kylo Ren heal them too was probably the reason she healed so fast. He'd also deliberately contributed in teaching her how to do it. It was hard for Rey to admit what a powerful and extraordinary being he was.

Rey felt his presence before entering the room, she knew she coincidentally would slip into his thoughts, but not because she wanted to invade...it was rather too easy for her to understand what he was going to do, or say or how he felt. She did not have this sort of power over Luke. In the corner of the door his figure appeared and she noticed that he still used his dark clothes from the First Order, apart from the helmet and the mantel. Kylo Ren was a large man, and to her the sleeveless arms made him appear more intimidating than usual, giving him the doubt of humanity and manhood as he carried himself big and stern. Rey couldnt explain why, but to some degree it gave her a sense of security. It made him seem unshielded, uncovered...more transparent, more intimate, the more skin he would show.

''How are you feeling?'' he said as he headed towards the medical monitor, on her bedside.

''I feel rather good today. As if I wasn't impaled to death by your friends and didn't have two holes in my body just three days ago'' she said sarcastically. He looked at her, his face muscles forming what was the beginning of a smile.

''You should hold on to that sense of humour. Not all Jedi's have the will to keep up with it as their training goes by.'' he said as he went on to check her other outputs. ''All your vitals are well. The only thing you need to do now is concentrate on growing part of your flesh back, as soon as you can, if you don't want to have those dents forever.'' He said, drawing her attention on the medical monitor, to later point at her wounds, ''I speak from experience'' he said lastly, turning around to make his way out of the room

''Am I your prisoner?'' Rey asked, not expecting an answer of any sort, only to find herself surprised as he stopped and turned to face her.

''You are my guest,'' he said, repeating the same words from a year ago, when they'd first met. '' and also my patient.'' his voice followed, pointing towards the monitors that Rey was linked to. ''I only ask that you let me show you something before you leave'' he said with a soft voice, and then heading towards the door again.

''What are you trying to fix in that room?'' the words vomited out of her mouth, just in time to stop him from walking too further away.

''Nothing that would matter to you'' he replied, his voice showing slight tones of annoyance.

She didnt say anything else. His attitude always shifted once she mentioned anything happening in the ship. She knew it was a ship only because she'd mentally scanned it. It was a KR32 F.O. unit, constructed in the very Starkiller base Finn and Han Solo helped destroy. Rey might not have known medicine or monitors, but she knew her mechanics even if she'd been dead. And yet something was happening, just a few steps next to her room, but something was interfering, preventing her of using her abilities to see what was happening there. She decided to let it go for the moment and shift her attention into healing herself, meditating but slipping into a slight somber.

.

 _She was running towards it. The fire. The smoke.-You couldve saved us!...Rey felt the need to breath deeper as she looked around her. She was surrounded by hundreds of carcasses, fallen bodies... dead...Resistance...theyre dead fighters of the resistance!...-Rey, run!...their only hope...gone... she felt her heart was pounding her chest, about to break it open...Kylo was next to her...his lightsaber...gleaming...not red, amethyst...it was his crossguard...then fire rose and burned her lungs...the pain was too much..._

 _._

She got up, barely normalizing her breathing. He shoulder and torso hurt from the sudden movement, but she did not care. The vision.. _no It cant be...do they?._ She grunted. The pain was kicking in again and spreading itself like a leech on a Jakkarian feast.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before gathering all the strength in the upper body to fight her pain and get herself off the bed.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Authors note:_** Hello everyone. Sorry for taking so long to post this. I have been very very busy with life and tbh these havent been the best months of my life. But I graduated! So thats something to add to my achievements. My life is kinda coming together so I had a bit of time to dedicate to posting these upcoming chapters. Ill post several these days so I hope you enjoy all of them.

Cheers

XX

the Pink King

* * *

He would come ever so frequently to check on her. Sometimes, while hibernating, she could feel him pace around in her room. His presence didn't concern her anymore. What concerned her were the reasons why he did what he did. It had been the second time that he took it upon himself to save her life. All she had done was trying to kill him, every time they'd met, with no intention to give up even in the future. But he seemed to ignore the fact that they were enemies, even that she owed him the scar that lied across his face, a permanent reminder of their interactions.

After a while, she learned to relax when he was around. It hurt her to admit that his company made her days more bearable. Although his presence seemed to be tense, he had a sort of calmness around his energy. It seemed to her that in another life, he might've been a rather well-mannered person, patient and caring. It reminded her that life existed outside the purgatorial she'd built inside her thoughts. She once even tried to probe into his mind, and he let her. His thoughts were unwelcoming. But he wasnt. She knew he was trying.

She knew that when he wasnt training, or in her room, he'd spent a lot of time in his room, fixing something. The scars and wounds in her body had made her weak to use the Force, for she couldn't bring herself to discover what.

She knew it was him, who saved her and Luke. She knew it was him who carried her, with a wounded body about to give up,to his ship. But she didnt know why. _Does he still want to teach me? Has he not given up yet? What is it with him and this damn Force?_

Between days she felt Luke's presence nearby the base. He was waiting for a wrong move from Kylo Ren, as of this far he'd only help her with medicinal supplies that Luke didn't have. He had other ways to communicate with her, even when she was asleep, encouraging her Force, and showing her new ways to use her healing abilities. Her wounds were healing fast with Luke's guide, but she knew enough about the Force to know that having Kylo Ren heal them too was probably the reason she healed so fast. He'd also deliberately contributed in teaching her how to do it. It was hard for Rey to admit what a powerful and extraordinary being he was.

Rey felt his presence before entering the room, she knew she coincidentally would slip into his thoughts, but not because she wanted to invade...it was rather too easy for her to understand what he was going to do, or say or how he felt. She did not have this sort of power over Luke. She wouldn't dare. In the corner of the door his figure appeared and she noticed that he still used his dark clothes from the First Order, apart from the helmet and the mantel. Kylo Ren was a large man, and his big sleeveless arms made him appear even more intimidating than usual, giving him the doubt of humanity, as he carried himself big and stern. Rey couldnt explain why, but to some degree it gave her a sense of security. It made him seem unshielded...more transparent, more intimate, the more skin he would show.

''How are you feeling?'' He said as he headed towards the medical monitor, on her bedside, looking at her.

''I feel rather good today. As if I wasn't impaled to death by your friends and didn't have two holes in my body just three days ago'' She said. He looked at her, his face muscles relaxing from his embedded frown and forming what was the faintest beginning of a smile.

''You should hold on to that sense of humour. Not all Jedi's have the will to keep up with it as their training goes by.'' He said as he went on to check her other outputs. ''All your vitals are well. The only thing you need to do now is concentrate on growing part of your flesh back, as soon as you can, if you don't want to have those dents forever.'' He said, drawing her attention on the medical monitor, to later point at her wounds, ''I speak from experience'' He said lastly, turning around to make his way out of the room.

''Wait- am I your prisoner?'' Rey asked impatiently fearing that he'd leave, not expecting an answer of any sort; only to find herself surprised as he stopped and turned to face her.

''As always- you are my guest,'' He said, repeating the same words from a year ago, when they'd first met. '' and also my patient.'' His voice followed, pointing towards the monitors that Rey was linked to. ''I only ask that you let me show you something before you leave'' he said with a soft voice, and then heading towards the door again.

''What are you trying to fix in that room?'' Rey felt the words vomiting out of her mouth, just in time to stop him from walking too further away.

''Nothing that would matter to you'' he replied, his voice showing slight tones of annoyance.

She didnt say anything else. His attitude always shifted once she mentioned anything happening in the ship. She knew it was a ship only because she'd mentally scanned it. It was a KR32 F.O. unit, constructed in the very Starkiller base Finn and Han Solo helped destroy. Rey might not have known medicine or monitors, but she knew her mechanics even if she'd been dead. And yet something was happening, just a few steps next to her room, but something was interfering, preventing her of using her abilities to see what was happening there. She decided to let it go for the moment and shift her attention into healing herself, meditating but slipping into a slight somber.

.

 _She was running towards it. The fire. The smoke.-You couldve saved us!...Rey felt the need to breath deeper as she looked around her. She was surrounded by hundreds of carcasses, fallen bodies... dead...Resistance...theyre dead fighters of the resistance!...-Rey, run!...their only hope...gone... she felt her heart was pounding her chest, about to break it open...Kylo was next to her...his lightsaber...gleaming, not red, amethyst...it was his crossguard...then fire rose and burned her lungs...the pain was too much._

She got up, barely normalizing her breathing. He shoulder and torso hurt from the sudden movement, but she did not care. The vision.. _no It cant be...do they?._ She grunted. The pain was kicking in again and spreading itself like a leech on a Jakkarian feast.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before gathering all the strength in the upper body to fight her pain and get herself off the bed.

* * *

''Do all visions come true?!'' Her voice was trembling. He turned his head, and got up immediately when he saw her standing at the door, covered with nothing but her body wrap, heavily gasping for air. Barely standing, her knees bent, she was having difficulty holding her body straight with just her right arm, quivering while trying to hold her weight. Her left arm seemed dead.

''Yes. One way or the other,'' He said, his expression creating a hint of sadness, ''mine always have.''He saw her eyes were filled with tears, and how she was trying hard to hold her tears back as her face seemed shocked, devastated and lost at the same time.

Rey was staring blankly at the floor. She opened her mouth to say something but her sudden breaths faded her words.

''What did you see?'' Kylo approached her with a concerned look.

''Everyone was dead. They were...dying, and-and I was there-there was fire, and...'' she stopped, and he felt how her anguish and pain was making it too much for her to move. She was struggling to breathe. There were visible tears around her cheeks. He took two steps towards her, having so far hesitated to make a move since she appeared. Slowly, he approached her and crouched himself to her height, his hands underneath her, offering to carry her weight.

''You cannot stand up longer,'' He hurried to say, when he saw her hesitant towards his arms. ''you'll hurt yourself, and all that we spent healing you would've been for nothing.'' Kylo was relived to feel her right arm over his shoulder, while her eyes were still fixed on the floor. He carried her delicately towards his bed, which was the closest in all quarters, and felt her heartbeat strong and fast, as if it was racing against her breath. He didnt have to look down, but she seemed so petite in his arms. She buried her head in his chest and let out a faint sigh.

''I dont know what to do anymore...I dont.'' She said between breaths. '' They are all depending on me, and I dont know what to do.'' Her sob grew softer and softer as he laid her down in the bed. ''You didnt have to carry me all the way, I couldve made it''

''You know you couldnt.'' He could not think of anything else other than how small she felt in his arms. After adjusting some pillows behind her so that she could stand up straight he waited until she got comfortable. A few grunts and slight moans from the pain she was feeling and Rey got in a comfortable position. He leaned down and sat next to her. ''Has Luke Skywalker even talked to you about visions?''

''You were there.'' She raised her head and looked him straight in the eyes. Rey did not mind his eyes. They were deep and dark, but they were not cold. Her's were shining and looking for answers.

''What do you mean?'' Kylo eyebrows narrowed in confusion.

''You were there," She insisted impatiently. "I recognized your face...and your lightsaber, you were standing next to me...or so I hope.'' Rey tried to point her finger to the other side of the room. ''Your lightsaber...''

''Luke should've told you to be careful with visions, has he not?'' His tone was almost playful. Rey felt betrayed that he would dismiss her like that. _All he preaches is about nothing._ As if he'd read her thoughts, he continued quietly, ''Sometimes, it is them that push us, and we end up making ourselves part of a self fulfilling prophecy. Its part of being a servant of the Force.'' Kylo Ren was looking at her with not just concern, but also pity, compassion.

''He did, but so far Ive only had one, before I met you, so it was not much of a concern for us.'' Slightly more calm than before, Rey relaxed her muscles and buried her spine comfortably into the pillows. ''Maybe you are not the evil you tried so hard to make of yourself, Kylo Ren'' Her lips were slightly curved into what she could manage as a half a smile. Her eyes were tired and heavy, but she tried not to break eye contact with him. And her attention seemed like it tended to wander from second to second, but always coming back to his dark irises. Kylo lost himself in her eyes, only to feel her presence in his mind, like a light push at first, growing to be mildly more aggressive. But it was never painful. She'd never try again if he refused her probing. It was always, however, quite uncomfortable.

Probing someone, or being probed, no matter how much of an expert one was at it, always felt bizarrely unnatural. Probing someone, even though it was a skill that came easy to him, it still left a bad taste behind. With non-force peoples, it felt like he was rather contracting information from them, channeling it into his mind...it always felt like a headache, driven from the temples. Since they never knew how to block it, or ever put a facade over it, their whole lives would end up in his mind. Their story, their emotions, their fears, their secrets...It was uncomfortable, too much clutter. With force sensitives, like Rey, he'd have a harder time trying to get there. They'd always have a strong veil, that with the slightest aggression would turn into a hard, concrete wall that could fight back. Not only the center of his head would start throbbing and aching, but the pain would lead in between his eyes, and then proceed to the throat. This, always, if they didn't retaliate. Rey always did. If they wouldnt, the information however, would be much cleaner, neat and organized. Their memories would be well placed, and their emotions much clear to tell. But it was never the case with Rey. She'd always retaliate, starting from when they first met at the interrogation room. And he'd feel her presence. Being probed on, it felt as if a foreign thread was in his head, and his emotions weren't his anymore. The other person could make him feel happy, ecstatic or depressed, scared, angry, with no reason at all, this on top of the terrible nausea. As if he was a puppet, not in control. As if he'd given up control. Kylo Ren learned that he hated that.

He never asked, whether these emotions were hers, and she was projecting them on him, or she was just telling him what to feel. Rey, however, had learnt to be more gentle. Much more gentle. He was amazed at how good she was at it. How good she was at managing and matching her actions with her emotions.

This time, her presence was very soft, as if almost asking for permission. So he put his guard down. And he felt it. The swift change in his emotions and heart beat, a feeling of relief and relaxation. Peace. _fake, isn't it?._ He didnt know what she was looking for, but she was looking for something far earlier in his life. His inner self started to panic. He shouldn't left himself in her hands. And he felt his thoughts were his again. She'd retreated. He looked at her, to see that her eyes were warm, and pitiful...almost pleading.

''You do still have light in you...'' He felt her hand touching his. Kylo sensed her confusion when he looked at her. ''If I can see it, feel it, in that little time inside your head...Why cant you?''

''I have light, and I have darkness.'' He said, his voice monotone and non hesitant. Kylo did not want to discuss philosophy again with her, and in the state that she was.

''Then why wouldn't you choose light?'' Her voice was slightly louder, confused. ''If you have the power to choose, why would you not choose light?''

''I needed to do what I was destined for.'' Every trace of emotion that used to be there had left his face.

''What do you mean?''Rey's voice was growing louder.

''Those visions, Scavenger'' his voice was aggravated '' You think you are the only Force sensitive in the galaxy to have had them?'' His eyes were glowing with anger, but he didnt move. Rey's face was flaming red. Her eyebrows contoured her frown and her eyes were fixed on his, demanding answers. Demanding genuine reasons not to hate him. ''What,'' He scoffed.''you think, a scavenger like you, who's done nothing but picking up trash throughout her whole life, can bare to understand what Ive been through? If you try to channel as much Force, if you want to ever be powerful enough to live up to the greatest people in the galaxy, you have to make your amends!'' He wasn't talking to her anymore. ''You have to give up pettiness for pettiness in order to achieve greatness! You think you can compare your simple, dull life with wha-''

He felt his eyes blur, and his vision narrow, before he was about to finish his sentence. He felt himself fly across the room and his body thumped to the wall, opposite to where they were standing. He couldn't move. His vision went black, his hearing went silent, all his senses shut down. _what is happening?!_ He tried whatever he could think off to fight it, but nothing worked.

He was immobilized.

* * *

.

.

.

It all became clear when he could open his eyes. Kylo Ren saw Rey coming closer, dragging her wounded self to where he had fallen, her hand raised in his direction, with her breathing heavy. Her face covered in disgust, anger and contempt and she struggled to keep up with the pain herself.

''You...'' She said, her words filled with rage, with intent to hurt, her mouth pressed, ''You are pathetic.'' she took a deep breath and her face distorted when she breathed out the pain of her ribs, and having to use the force at the same time. ''I have come across the most vile, disgusting, revolting and pathetic creatures of the galaxy in Jak'ku, but you... You are the worst of them all.'' Her face was unrecognizable. Kylo Ren found his heart beating out of the chest. He saw how she carried herself masterfully, as if her body had not just struggled to live by having been impaled in two. He felt himself out of air again. He struggled to pick his hands up, to counteract her force-choke, gasping for whatever air he could breathe on but it was futile. She had pinned him to the floor, and her Force was much stronger than his.

''You are nothing but a petty, privileged boy, who simply had too much choices laid in front of him. Who had the galaxy given out to his hands, but chose to play his rebellion act just to appease his appetite for attention.'' Rey's fury started to shake the objects in the room. The glare and the spark in her eyes scared him more than anything. He had never felt her full anger up until this moment. He was terrified.

''You are a murderer.'' She said in a broken voice, '' And to think that I almost forgot that! Its not just Han Solo. Your father. You've murdered everyone that loved you.'' her voice was loud and strong enough to give him chills. ''Your mother...your uncle, your friends. You've broken them. You took their souls in your hands and crushed them.'' She came closer, her eyes piercing through his body. ''And why?! And for what?'' She sounded like tears were coming to her. Her voice coming from her core, but trembling. ''... Answer me!''

He felt the air gone for good. He couldn't breathe, or move or even fight her force. She was too powerful and too angry. She was darker than him. Much darker. He saw it in her eyes. He felt it in her force. The choking became stronger, angrier. He had not more air in his body, and he felt his struggle weaken, and his mind slowly drifting away. He could feel his force leaving him as his hopes for air were gone. Her shining eyes were filled with something more than tears... it was rage, desperation. He tried to use the Force again, but it was useless.

''You are a sad, pathetic man, Kylo Ren.'' she put her hand down. The grip was gone. Immediately, he took a long, deep breath, gasping for all the air he could inhale. His vision cleared slightly, enough to look at her face, emotionless. ''And you disgust me.''

* * *

.

.

.

Leaning against the wall, he felt tears coming to his eyes. Rage. He wanted to kill her, for what she had dared to say, for what she had dared to do. The lack of air had blurred his vision, but he could still see her figure leaving the room slowly, with her wounded limbs.

He could gather his strength to follow after her. But he didnt. He stood still, speechless and frightened. He had felt her Force, how powerful she could be. But not like this. Not in this way. It reminded him of... someone.

He tried to focus on his breathing and call to his Force to get up. Still alarmed, he looked around and started walking to his bed. Whilst standing up his eyes caught the shiny metallic object that was lying on the corner of his desk. He had meant to give it to her that day. He went towards the table and picked it up.

He had never seen it from this close before. It was perfectly made. The craftsmanship was impeccable. Every line and every turn was perfectly lined with each other. So refined, so sophisticated. _not unstable,broken like mine._ His eyes locked on the switches. It puzzled him, because he'd always thought that she had crafted a double bladed one, one to substitute her staff in combat, but it wasnt... _so perfect. how did she learn to do this in just months of training she had with Luke? did she ever struggle?She, a scavenger..._

Instead, it somehow looked like a bigger staff. It was some sort of a pike. He had heard of pike lightsabers, the ones from bedtime stories of the temple defenders, but never double ended. He ran his fingers on it, to find that the two switches were independent from each other. She could just switch one of them, without having to switch on the other. _fascinating._ But it was not a pike either. He knew that, one of the lightsaber blades was slightly shorter than the other. _how?how did she manipulate the crystals like this?_ He kept studying it, his eyes following his fingers where they traced the metal. He regretted not having spent more time with it. It was truly a piece of art. He was jealous. He despised his lightsaber. It was one he didnt agree to. It was one made with pure rage and anger, very unstable, corrupt. But hers, hers was so flawless and pure, it made him angry.

Then it wasnt in his hands anymore. In a sharp, swift move the metal left his hands and reached behind him. He turned around and saw her standing at the door, her lightsaber in her hand. She looked at him.

'' You can not take whatever you want.'' She was still angry.

She didnt wait for him to move or say anything and turned around to leave.

''Dont...'' he reached out his hand in hesitation. His voice displaying pain. _did I say it out loud?_ She turned. She wouldnt let go of her anger.

'' Luke warned me about you,'' her voice wasnt angry, to his surprise. It was in pain. ''...many, many times'' her last words came out with a sigh. she wasnt looking at him, but at her lightsaber.

'' He said that you would stop at nothing, you would try to manipulate me, to mess up with my head...'' her voice was breaking ''He said you would want me to do this!''

''No-''he raised his head, when he heard her words.

''That you would turn me against myself. That you would turn me...'' she didnt speak for a moment, disgust in her voice. ''...turn me into that!'' she cried, pointing at the wall he had just been slammed to. He could feel her heartbeat.

''No.''

''Stop. Lying!'' she sighed.

'' I am not lying.'' He took a deep breath. ''It is true, that day in the forest, I was trying to make you angry, to expose you to your true emotions Rey, but that is not my intention anymore...This, what happened just now...'' he pointed at the wall, his eyes locked on her '' This is all you Rey''

He saw the grief in her face, in her eyes. He saw her sliding down and falling to her knees, as she buried her face in her palm, still holding her lightsaber. He did not know what to do. He felt almost everything she felt. She had put her guards down, now she had focused on herself. She was scared, befuddled, annoyed.

''I failed...so many people'' he could hear her words, through her muffled voice. She still had her head down.

He, looking at her, slowly lowered his body on his knees, trying to level himself with her, as they were standing on opposite sides of the room.

''Rey, I know that those words that I said in that forest, many months ago, were just to push you to your limits, to tempt you-'' he felt her anger rising. ''but they were true nonetheless.''

''What do you mean?'' she sounded tired. Tired of everything. He knew the feeling.

'' You will-'' but he was interrupted. He heard her voice overriding his.

''- longer than a month to make it.'' she said while looking at her hand. She was talking about her lightsaber. ''Luke told me id be a fool to commit to such a complicated craft,'' she chuckled, her face more peaceful. '' but I had this image in my head that I could not let go off.'' the smile didnt leave her face. ''I never told this to him, but at times, I was just about to throw it away in the ocean from frustration.'' she looked at him.

''You will not get the worst of me Kylo Ren. Not just yet.'' She wasnt angry anymore. ''I may have darkness in me, but I will fight it, it will not win over me'' her voice, although weak, felt empowered. '' I know myself'' she said lastly, a slight smile cornering her mouth.

He looked at her as she stood up, her wounds clearly affecting her. Standing straight up he was waiting for her to leave through the door, but she didnt.

Instead, she ignited her lightsaber. The solitary bright aurulent beam, gleaming like a solar flare, took him by surprise. It was just one.

Confused, as he called for his own lightsaber he stood up tall too. _does she want to attack me?_

''Are you scared that you will not be able to beat me, Kylo Ren? That you will never be as powerful as me?'' she said, in harsh sounding words. Her tone however, depicted differently. She sounded relaxed, lively, almost playful. His confusion could be read on every move and breath he took.

''What do you want to do? Fight?-''

But he could barely finish his words, when she raised her lightsaber, following with a technique he'd never seen her do. At least whenever she fought him. He ignited his lightsaber, and defended himself. He took a single moment to process everything, while their faces, only inches apart, were guarded by each other's lightsaber's beam. He was still confused. She had a mischievous look. She drove away first.

'' I have been rotting my muscles and myself in that room for days. I need to train. And thats the only use I can make of you as for now!'' she said.

''I will not fight you while you're wounded. You need healing.'' his voice had fallen to its normal deep, flat voice. She didnt wait, but hit him again. And he rose his lightsaber to block it. He used another strike to push her further away.

'' I will not fight you while youre wounded!'' he repeated. ''You might think youre all too powerful, but I can hurt you while youre in that state! It does not give me pleasure'' he insisted.

Yet she charged at him again, but he thwarted it too easily. Her starting techniques, known too well by both of them was very predictable, in fact too predictable. It was almost like a dance rehearse with two glowing deadly weapons that kept colliding with each other. Each knew too well what the first move would be, and the other did not miscarry the practice. The room was wide, as he had meant it to be for training himself as well.

But Kylo was becoming more and more aggressive. Slowly, she felt him shifting to a different, darker art. He knew that she wasn't doing this for the win. _why is she doing this?_

His last strike, full with anger and embarrassment, drove her to weigh on her wounded leg, making her stumble, almost falling. He saw pain flickering across her face and regretted what he'd done. He immediately released his lightsaber, and while trying to keep her from falling, tried to grab her waist, putting his whole arm beneath it, bringing her body close to his chest. His eyes widened, as if he didnt believe what he had just done.

She breathed out.

He longed in the silence that fell. She was looking right through him, her eyes intensely locked on his. He stared at her face, and forgot to breathe for a second. Her shining hazel eyes still had forgiveness and innocence in them. Although he knew that she had tried to wear the rough mask too hard and keep it for too long, he could still trace the scared, naive child that was behind it.

He felt both of their heartbeats pacing together. He felt his hand, the one that was touching her waist, burning at the touch. He felt an urge, foreign to him he immediately compressed. He didnt know where to look anymore. Even though he was prepared for her to attack him, to push him, Force choke him, or even ignite the other side of her lightsaber through his chest. _what an irony that would be._

But she didnt do anything. It was him who pushed her, firmly but gently. She lowered her body to balance herself, as he felt her waist extending away from his hand. None of them spoke, but slowly got away from the moment. He took his lightsaber from the ground and ignited it.

''Thats enough.'' he said, pointing it at her.

She stood her ground again, and ignited her lightsaber with a confused look in her eyes. But he didnt want to continue.

''You need to leave this quarter. You have your lightsaber now'' He was alarmed. _did she see that?_ And when he looked at her he knew that she had.

* * *

 _i did see that._

Rey knew it, but she didnt wanted to believe it. She had felt it in his heartbeat, in his eyes, in the way he was looking at her. She continued to look at his face, fascinated at what she had found out. She traced down his distinctive features, thinking about how he'd never let his guard down like this. To have made himself an open book. To have focused all his Force on her.

Just seconds ago, when she found her body in his arms, him arched over her, she could do nothing but look at his deep eyes and feel him using the Force just to stop her from falling. Their faces, close enough to sense each others breathing

His face had changed so much since she'd first seen him. She couldn't stop herself from tracing his features with her eyes. She looked carefully and felt a sense of guilt, when she realized that the first thing people now would notice in his face was his scar. The mark she'd left on his skin. The scar she'd given him in that snowy night, now had permanently settled across his face, resembled a distorted war paint, slightly denting his flesh. His dark hair was much longer, falling freely in his shoulders, cornering his face, locks of dirty raven hair.

But his eyes, they had remained the same.

They were deep and warm, giving his face a grieving, suffered look, in which the longer you glanced at the more confusion, innocence and surrender you'd find. His eyes gave him away. Even since the first time they locked eyes together. His eyes were the reason she'd think twice before hating him. _eyes hold our essence._ She heard an old voice speak to her. Something in her stomach twisted a feeling she tried to ignore. Then her attention had shifted to the present. His body was warm against hers. She felt her wound sting, as he had released her, to stand on her own.

And she had felt it.

Through him. His heart was racing and he was too hot to be comfortable. But he had been almost immobilized. Not from her doing. It was something else. In a flight of a moment, she had been confused, as to which emotions belonged to whom. Her heart was racing too.

When she stepped away, she saw him straighten his posture, and his expression change. She ignited her lightsaber, willing to expect everything from him.

The red beam of his lightsaber followed hers, and pointed towards her face. She stepped back, her body aching. The traces of innocence had left his eyes. His eyes were empty.

''That's enough'' She was taken aback. '' You need to leave this quarter. You have your lightsaber now''. She could feel the tension. He was uneasy, distraught and agitated. He had stopped looking at her.

She clicked the switch, took a few deep breaths and left the room, her steps slow from her wounds. _what has happened to him?_

Walking out of his quarters, her anger build up as her aching body wasn't willing to follow her commands. She slowed down and took her time to study the machine around. It was so peaceful in there. _How is this place so bright?_ She'd always wondered at their technology. This one was rusty, and somehow outdated compared to the quarters in the First Order base. _did he steal this?_ They had some of the most fascinating pieces of machinery, and she had to admit that Kylo knew how to choose. _face._ As she continued her tour around, examining the work and the metal, she noticed that the ship was abnormally customized. Some pieces were so rare she'd only heard about them, and some were even unheard of to her. _Did he made these himself?_

Her spine cringed as she felt his heavy steps behind herm marching out of his room, and towards her. _what does he want._

She gasped. His hand reaching for hers. His touch, immediately shifted her attention away from the machinery, to her hand. _what is._.. She glanced at his shadow and turned around to gather what had happened. His tall figure was right behind her. _he is touching my hand._ She felt him exhaling slowly, his eyes locked on hers. Confused as to what was happening, her body stiff and alert, she ignited her lightsaber, and tried to step away. _is he trying to lock me down? is he going to attack me? like he did with Han Solo?_

But he wasnt. He was looking at her, his eyes pleading for something. She took a sharp inhale, her expression puzzled. She lowered her lightsaber and waited for him. She felt his body coming closer to her, slow and delicately, very unapt for his size. He didnt want to scare her. She still didnt know what was happening. His hand was warm.

''What do you think you are doing?'' her voice came out stern, yet shaken. Her eyes were wide, and her head high, looking at him. He was close. _too close._

 _Why does everything becomes silent when I look into his eyes? What is this- I hate him. Right?_

* * *

''Do you know who you are?'' His eyes were locked on hers. His grip was stronger. She felt her blood rush into her head.

''What do you mean-?" she stumbled slightly, ''I am nobody- im Rey, you know that'' the confusion in her voice stirred with frustration.

''Then how are you this strong? Are you a child of the force? How you get into me so much? How can you get into my head? Who are you?!'' His voice grew louder and louder as the grip on her hand became unbearable. His questions were burning into her ears. He was also pushing into her thoughts.

She closed her eyes slowly, took a deep breath and lowered her heartbeat. She looked at him, wanting to say a thousand words but she didnt speak. Her whole body was hurting, her wounds felt open again, a feeling that, no matter what, was still inferior to the rage and anguish she felt from him probing her thoughts. After another deep breath, she immediately scanned and locked herself into his mind.

 _I do not know why I can come to you this easy. I do not know why I can feel whatever you feel. I do not know how I can feel this. I do not know how we are connected, and why. Let my hand go._

She felt his grip soften and slowly letting her hand go.

''How did you master meditation so easily? It took me years to even try it-'' there was a faint smile cornering his mouth. '' And you can get into my head so easily...''

Rey knew.

''It was because of you'' She said firmly. His eyes widened slightly, as they were impatiently gazing hers. ''That day...the interrogation, it did something to me. It woke me up. Suddenly I could see. I could feel things more and I could hear more. And thats how I got to you.'' she continued, her voice was softer as she looking at him. ''By trying to get into my walls, you opened a door for me, a way for me out of my limits, and into yours. You were open. I dont know why, but you were more clear to me with a mask on, than anyone has ever been.'' her voice, slightly melancholic, put him at ease. ''Because, your thoughts, your pain, what you feel, are very familiar to me. In a strange way, the world has treated us the same.

Silence fell comfortably after Rey's words. He wasn't looking at her anymore.

''Ive never heard you speak for this long without threatening to kill me before.'' He said as he moved his hand to her hair, trying to put a strand of her hair, that didnt obey the laws of her hair ties. ''You say you feel my pain, my grief...my struggle. But do you?''

Rey didnt move. His presence didnt bother her anymore. As his hand touched her hair, she felt her spine shiver, but she stood her ground. _what do you want from me?_

''I dont know Scavenger.'' he answered the voice in her head out loud. She still found it uncomfortable. ''You get to be into my head. You tell me'' he said calmly as he looked into her eyes.

Rey felt his frustration. She felt his heartbeat beating faster, which made her stomach twist. She felt his thoughts becoming alive and overwhelming her. Her heart was racing. The blood was rushing to her face, and she couldn't distinguish as to why her body was reacting this way. It was mere seconds that she decided to look into his mind again to see what he was about to do.

She couldn't gather herself as to what happened next. Starting from the deep stare into his soulful dark eyes, and how they changed as she spoke into his thoughts up to the moment his face, _his_ _lips_ were touching hers, everything was a blur. She only felt his lips, forceful but yet soft, waiting and burning hot into hers, as he lightly cupped her face.

Time around them was in a warp. She could stop it, but she didnt. She could ignite her lightsaber, fatally wounding him, but she didnt. She could pull herself back from this monster, but she didnt. She could hate his touch, but she didnt. She knew that, as some form of a twisted fate she didnt hate his being with her whole self. She could be thinking as to why what was happening to her was happening to her, but she didnt. All she thought about were his lips on her, daring to kiss her like there was no war, no murder, no one in their lives. All she thought about was him. Her lightsaber fell into the ground as she let go of it to put her hands up to his face, moving them through his hair and holding on to his neck, to bring each other closer than they already were. She felt her heart beating out of her chest when he moved his left hand down her back, and used it to pick her up, bringing their bodies closer, and pinning her to the metallic wall that now showed the contrast of the traces of their hot bodies against the cold metal. As she continued kissing him, she wrapped her legs around his broad torso feeling his chest as it moved up and down with every breath that he barely took between their lips. The touch of his lips made her stomach turn and she longed for more. His arms were holding her as she leaned closer and closer to his chest. His kisses were overwhelming, yet not enough. She aggressively required more. Their bodies were one. Their minds were one.

Ren was not going to let the moment slip had she not fallen helpless in his arms like she did after. Rey gasped and cried out loud as a sharp pain in her stomach put an end to their embrace. As her vision became blurrier and darker, the pain cut through her body, paralyzing her senses and her consciousness. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't see. Her hands and legs felt weak, almost non existent when she felt his strong arms holding her tight as she lost control of her body, the last thing remembering her mind going blank.

* * *

Authors note: So this one is kind of a long one (sorry about that) but I think Its a good one. Again dont judge please. I dont have a beta reader because I dont have much time to dedicate to this site, but I try to edit it as much as I can by myself and by some grammar sites. I really hope you liked it cause I really enjoyed writing this one.

Cheers!


	17. Chapter 17

_**Authors note:**_ _s_ So here you have the other chapter like I promised. Finally the slow burn has started to burn. I hope you guys enjoy it.

XX

Pink King

* * *

His stomach felt sick, as he held tight to her unconscious body, not being aware of what had happened after her cry. He didnt know whether he'd hurt her. She had been his...for a second in this twisted galaxy, he found someone whose heart burned at the same temperature as his, and he might've hurt her again.

Still holding her, he ran to his quarters and gently placed put her to his bed, linked her to the medicinal apparatuses and waited for their boot signal to begin the scan-and-heal process. Stealing the technology from the First Base was the best thing he'd realized he'd done. After the machine let out the signal, he went around it regulating the pressure and the parameters according to her body and state. From time to time he would glance at her, making sure she was still breathing.

Her body laid pale and still and her chest moved only slightly, with a faint breath going in and out. The apparatus was on but there was no reaction from her.

Kylo Ren clenched his fists and started going around it, to change parameters to a better fit, frustrated at his uselessness. He started murmuring, while felt his anger filling his body, as none of the inputs that he was giving worked on her. Pacing around the bed, he tried thinking of the extensive training the medics gave them on the First Base when they introduced it. It was complicated but he always had a way with machinery. He'd learnt it in less than 3 days when it took the commanders one month. Yet now, that he needed that knowledge most, he had nothing. Nothing. There was nothing inside in his head about this damn machine. He felt like a helpless child, anger and tears rising up to his head, as he went for his lightsaber, ready to unleash his anger onto the machine and the room.

But he saw her, and he saw her chest rising more and more, as her breaths became fuller and the colour had returned in her cheeks and her skin.

Kylo recognized the feeling all too well. But this feeling of relief was buried back within him, with Ben, into his childhood. The feeling of weightlessness, joy and relief as the heart dropped off the chest. When he would know everything would be fine. Every time Han Solo would come home, every time he would see the shadow of the Millenium Falcon up in the skies, his heart would drop and peace would take over his body once again. All the angsty lonely breakfasts with his mother, all the nights that he would sneak in on her chamber, only to hear her cry; days filled with worry, anguish and sleepless nights, all the vortex of feelings that would take over their house after Han Solo would climb on that ship. And it would all be gone when the most famous ship in the planet would approach their system.

He knew the feeling, when he saw her finally move slightly and moan slowly from pain. He realized she was healing herself.

He slowly approached the bed, taking the tubes off her arms and her ribs, to let her freely heal herself. He looked at her bruised body and lightly brushed the hair out of her face. He realized his heart was beating faster, something that he had accepted happened normally whenever he was near her. He continued to look at her as guilt took over his stomach but was interrupted by her heavy breathing that was becoming deeper and deeper. Alarmed, seeing that she was running out of breath again, he ran towards the apparatus to turn it on again. Behind his back he heard her move and took a moment to turn around-

''They are looking for us!'' Her sharp voice cut through the air, behind him. He turned around, terrified of what she'd said and stared at her as he'd forgotten all of the words he could mouth.''You heard what I said.'' Her words were icy.

''What are you saying? Who? Who is looking for _us?_ '' Kylo felt the terror growing on his guts. _How could she possibly know? How could she know?_

 _''_ Im saying, you know damn well what I'm saying!'' Rey shouted in disbelief. ''What even is happening? When will someone give me the truth around here? What do I need to do? Because I have done what was asked of me!" Her voice was close to cracking. " I have travelled half away the galaxy, to train myself, to become worthy, to become the One. And I don't even know what's happening!'' It wasn't just her voice that was vibrating in the air. Her disappointment, her disbelief, Kylo felt her energy, filled with anger and confusion, vibrating through her bones. ''I left everything behind me.'' she said, now her expressionless face was staring at the ground.

''You are right.'' Kylo heard the words leave his mouth with a long sigh while slowly approaching her. ''You deserve to know everything, more than anyone else.'' He leaned closer to her and gently, with his index finger, caressed her chin upwards, to look at her hazel green eyes. ''I will tell you everything you want to know. So far, I have done nothing but treat you like Luke Skywalker has treated you. He has put you in a container, he is scared of your energy. I was wrong, and I want to redeem myself.'' He took a deep breath, his eyes stilled fixated on the features of her face. ''You, are the most powerful Jedi I have ever seen Rey, and I will help you become what you wish to become.''

Rey could not help herself but stare back at his dark eyes in awe. _He meant everything he said._ She realized that deep inside her, she trusted this man more than she ever thought possible, and for the first time, she felt comfortable with it. It was not the encouraging words that he'd always say to her, it was the way he said those words. He had never lied to her, and he was sitting in front of her, apologizing for not telling her the whole truth. Having to deal with scammers, thieves and liars her whole life, she had grown weary of everyone, always putting her instincts first. But Kylo Ren had always been honest to her. And now he had offered himself, his whole truth, to her. Rey gulped.

''Just tell me what is happening.'' She said with a sigh, trying really hard to hide the contempt she was feeling. ''I am tired of playing guess every time someone wants to draw a lightsaber through my body. I want to feel in control.''

''I understand.'' He paused for a few seconds, and sat down, leaning against the wall. ''I did leave the Knights of Ren. I left Snoke. I left it all. The battle inside me...it became unbearable, and killing Han- my own father became the culprit of that. I became nothing but my fight between the light and the dark. I could not escape either of my sides. See Rey, living inside my head is rather...exhausting if not excruciating. And after I saw what you could be, it gave me hope.''

''Hope? Me?'' Rey said, confused. She had sat next to him, listening attentively to every word that he said.

''Yes. I know you will deny it, but the Force that you have, you might be a Jedi but you are not all light. You have darkness inside you...'' He paused, fearing her reaction, but she never said anything. ''...but you still live with it, you choose whichever works for you best, and you do it so lightly, you make it seem so unbearably easy, it makes me jealous. You make the choice. It is all you.''

''Jealous?'' Rey scoffed. ''Did you know that I've eaten sand for most of my life?'' she said jokingly.

''Your peace of mind.'' he interrupted her. ''You are so perfectly in harmony with yourself. Your thoughts are so...pure, so simple to find. Ive been inside your head, and I wish I could live there. And because of that, your Force is so balanced and pure, something I have killed for.''

Rey shook her head at his last words, trying to get rid of the thought, and looked at the window in front of them. The rosy sparks of the sun had catch on to the clouds like a leaking water paint. She had forgotten it was time for the sun to rise. Rey knew he was looking at the sky too. The silence that had fell between them was one of the most comfortable conversations they ever had. The warm feeling in her chest kindled a faded smile in her lips.

''I always loved the mornings and twilights in Jak'ku'' she said, not knowing why she was telling him that. _Maybe he needs a normal conversation. ''_ Jak'ku is a cold-hearted bastard of a desert but, the colours of the morning and the painted skies in the evening...'' She sighed deeply and turned to him, her smile still lingering in her lips. ''They are something worth waking up for.''

''My life wasn't always like this, I remember...'' she said, '' But I dont remember enough not to call Jak'ku my home'' The hint of sadness in her voice shook Kylo into reality. While gazing out of the window, he had only half listened to her words, all of his attention was on her soothing voice, the distant accent that she spoke them with, and the gentleness that she carried with them.

''Another thing I envy of you...of most of people actually'' he said, looking at her. ''Is the ability to have a home.'' Rey looked at him confused. _He is the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo. The most famous people in the Galaxy. He is almost of royal blood. How could he possibly feel like this?_

 _''_ Everyone I ever knew, they told me how lucky I was to have Han Solo as a father. The most notorious adventurer in the Galaxy. The pilot of Millenium Falcon!'' he scoffed. ''Well, I had Han Solo but I never had a father.'' he whispered.

''What do you mean...?'' Rey was too afraid to ask for more. Nothing could ever justify the murder of Han Solo, but maybe she would get to know the ''why;; behind it.

''They never spoke. They only yelled. And screamed. And threw things at each other. '' He was speaking softly, but Rey could tell he was desperate to speak the words. ''And he would disappear for months. Mother would think him dead, but she never said so to me. Sometimes I think she wanted him dead. At least that would be a good reason for not seeing your family for months, sometimes years.''

''At least they didn't abandon you on a desert planet...'' Rey felt the competition for the worst parents was playing up to her standards.

''-No.'' he looked at her. ''I know why they left you. I was there when the Knights of Ren destroyed the Jedi temple. They wanted to save you. Han Solo never gave two thoughts about me, let alone save me.'' He took a deep breath, and Rey hushed, giving him time to tell her more. ''The day they sent me to Luke...He had just come home two days ago..." He fell silent for a few seconds. "...The thing with being force sensitive is that you can feel what others around you feel.'' His facial expression changed into discomfort while he pressed his lips. ''I hate that. I always felt it. Mother's worry, grief and anger. It confused me so much.'' Kylo Ren took a deep breath and stood up, reaching his arm for her hand, to help her up too. _His hand is warm._ She got up and followed him as he headed outside the door, out of the quarters. Rey couldn't read him anymore, he was far too focused on the story. But she followed him throughout the four quarters and to a quite small maintenance room with many parts, where he started looking for something. She wanted to know the end of the story. Ben Solo's story.

''You know the day I left for Luke's jedi temple'' he stopped, his voice was covered by the noise of the rumbling metals that he was moving around to find what he was looking for. Rey saw him squatting to search some other parts of the room, much too confused at what was happening. ''Was the first and only time I saw them next to each other, almost happy. No,'' he said while grunting, reaching through some metal parts, still searching. ''They were happy the baggage wasn't there anymore.'' The noises soon stopped and he stood up and turned around, his dark hair ruffled and much too out of place. He looked like a young boy with half a smile on his face, holding up a reactor piece. Rey's eyes widened and her mouth fell open wide.

''Oh my! That! How do you have that?How?'' Rey could not hold her excitement, when he handed her the piece. ''This- You know how much this is? This could give me meals for a lifetime- no for three lifetimes! My childrens children could be eating like lords with this!'' she squealed while continuously looking at the piece, and then at Kylo. He on the other side had a contempt smile on his face.

''Im sorry your life was hard,'' Kylo heard himself say with a saddened expression, catching her attention. Rey looked at him, puzzled at his words. She went closer to him, their bodies almost touching each other. Slowly, she put her free hand on his arm and took a deep breath.

''The Jedi raid.'' She cut him short. ''Luke told me. You dont have to talk about that'' she said, diverting the conversation. Kylo took the hint, and reached his hand to the piece she was holding. He put it up to examine in front of the dim light that shone in the small room and started walking towards the main entrance of the ship. Rey followed him, not sure where they were going- where he was going. Following him, Rey thought of what had happened the last days that she'd spent with him. A sudden thought stroke her.

''Why did you kill the knights of Ren? Arent they like a family or something?''

Kylo didn't turn around, but kept walking. ''They betrayed me...They knew the consequences of their actions'' he spoke, his voice barely reaching her from his back. ''I was their leader, and they choose to follow some else's orders'' He paused and turned around to look at her. ''Insubordination is punishable by death.'' After he finished talking, Rey became aware at where they were going. They were almost deep in the woods now, but it wasn't too much of a strain on her. She took a deep breath to soak in all the fresh air that came in a breeze.

''Where are we going?'' she asked, still confused as to why she was following him. The ground below them had started to become rougher and steeper. There were more rocks than dirt, and the trees had begun to shorten into bushes. Rey glanced behind her and saw that they were already far away from the base ship, actually one could not tell where the ship was, had they not known the way where they came.

* * *

''I want to show you something'' He said in a serious tone, turning around and reaching his arm to help her climb the steep grounds. ''I have left something here, many years ago.'' He pulled her up and continued ahead, while Rey was left again vexed and curious about what was ahead of them. _Did he hide a weapon or something? Supplies? Maybe...Oh my, what if he shows me his first lightsaber? That cross guard must be a recent one. He probably made one out of the crystals, with Luke...But why did he take that reactor piece? That reactor piece that can feed me for the rest of my life. In Jak'kkus name that could feed the entire village. Unkar Plutt would probably retire...or buy a lowlife planet. You definitively can with that piece._ Rey found herself smiling at the thought of showing Unkar Plutt the reactor piece. He would probably start to melt grease from his head every time he saw something more valuable than a ship. She kept her head straight and looked at Kylo Ren's figure as he led the way. There was something about him that always stopped her from wanting to actually kill him. She had vowed to Luke that she hated him and every inch of his being, but she had realized she was wrong. His tall, broad and dark stature was frightening nonetheless, but not hostile. It hurt her pride admitting that she felt safe around him.

As the ground became steeper and steeper, he turned back more often so to help her. His breathing was significantly heavier as well, and Rey could see some strings of his dark hair, clinging to his face as he turned around, from the sweat.

''Did Luke train you this well?'' He said in a tone of almost disbelief, and looked for the nearest boulder to sit down. ''How are you so wounded still, and ready to climb a mountain?''

''I've climbed dunes and AT-AT's for a living for about ten years.'' She said nonchalantly, trying to hide her content. ''This is nothing. Try climbing this in desert temperatures...Sometimes other scavenger's booby traps... you haven't eaten for days, there is no water in sight,'' She said tilting her head. '' only sand and the Sun.'' She thought of sitting down but Kylo got up and started walking again up the mountain. A long silence fell between the two of them for which Rey didn't mind. She would listen to the nature instead. She loved the songs of the birds, and the fluttering of insects, no matter how annoying they seemed to others. She liked the silence of the people, but she loved the language of nature. Sand dunes used to speak also. Sometimes, when the sun had just lef the peak, and the wind would start to howl through them, they would sing sad songs, as if they were looking for something, or someone lost. As much as she loved music, she never learnt to play, or to sing. But the nature as she had learnt, the deep green forest, the angry blue water, they would sing beautifully, and that was enough for her.

While lost in her own thoughts she noticed that Kylo had started to hum a melody too. She knew she had been careless and that he'd been inside her mind but it didn't make her angry enough to say something about it. It made her smile. Supring to her since they met, he had a rather soothing voice. It was deep and sometimes raspy, but very comforting. _Probably another reason why he wore the mask._ The melody had turned sad and oddly melancholic but she didn't want him to stop.

''My mother used to sing me this when I was a child...many, many years ago.'' She heard him say. He had started to walk slower and closer by her side, and she'd notice the ground become softer too. Rey realized that they were close to the destination. His steps were more confident and he'd turn to his usual marching-like walk. ''We're almost there'' She heard him say, as she glanced at the wide meadow that had slowly appeared in front of them, as their view was completely free of trees. In the end, she noticed a large dark object, that she could not make of what it was yet. Rey blinked again to tried to see clearer, and her mouth opened wide as soon as she realized what it was.

''You have another ship here?!'' The words came out almost shouting.

''It's a ship I had started to build while training under Luke.'' He said, and Rey knew he had a smile on his face. As they went closer she could not help but wonder at his abilities. The ship clearly took off his father's vessel. ''We came here, the two of us, on Luke's business at the time, and I had too much time on my hands. I hated picking stuff up with my mind all the time, so I'd climb the mountain every day to kill time. At that time, there was a Resistance base nearby so I stole some of their scrap to build this.'' Rey was amazed at the ship, and the story that came with it. ''I never got to fly the Millennium Flacon, so I wanted to make my own. But at the time I missed the most important piece of all,'' He said while showing her the small reactor he had in his hand. '' And no one in the Resistance had one of these laying around back then. Now I get to finish what I started'' he said as they approached the ship.

Being closer to it, Rey could see how the ship was build by a teenager, but it did seem magnificent nonetheless. Besides the darker colour, and the rust of time, the ship was an almost identical smaller model of the Millennium Falcon.

''Did you name it?'' she said, walking around it. Kylo's eyebrows narrowed into a pained expression.

''No.'' He scoffed. ''Ships don't need names, they need serial numbers.''

''That's fair'' Said Rey, not caring much about his reaction. She followed him up and inside the ship. ''But if I was still a teenager and I had just build a ship, I would definitively name it something. How old were you when you built this?''

''Fourteen.'' Kylo Ren said. He moved closer to one of its wings and opened a casket beneath the turbine. ''I want to make it work, because I need to leave this planet, or system.'' He moved from the wing and to the main entrance. He sounded annoyed. ''Not because I want to fulfill my long time dream of finishing my childhood ship.''

''You already have a ship- a rather big one!'' Said Rey confused, following him around the ship. ''Why would you get this one? It can't even fly!'' She shouted at him while pointing at the ship with both hands, for she'd been left behind one of the pilot's quarters in a narrow corridor between the two rooms. Rey saw him turn around and marching towards her, angered at her words.

''The ship I have there is a 11ATS weaponised unit with an uncrackable tracker, fifteen reactors and a self informed server, from the First Base, courtesy of Hux and Snoke. It can think for itself, It can endure higher temperatures than the planet's core, it can be tracked everywhere in the universe and above all, it possesses enough energy and weaponry to blow this planet up whole. Now, seeing that because of you, I murdered the Knights of Ren, defied Snoke's orders and saved your life, do you really want to be there Scavanger?''

 _''_ Because of me? What- I never told you!'' Rey felt hot. _What did he mean because of me?_

''You need to listen- stop wandering around the ship!" He shouted impatiently. "Concentrate! You need to come with me!" He said in flash second, surprised himself from the words that came out of him.

Rey stopped looking around the ship and gazed at his face. She saw the rage and the impatience all over him. His muscles were tense, and so was the air between them. He was close enough for her to see his chest breathing and his nostrils flaring. After scanning his eyes, and the scar that marked his face, her eyes deliberately searched for his lips. They were slightly parted, and she saw his jaw clench at her words. Amidst the anger that she had and slightly embarrassed about it, Rey thought of the softness of his lips, before touching them lightly with the tips of her fingers. She felt his chest softly gasp at the surprise, but his anger started to slowly fade away.

''I don't know whether I want to kill you or kiss you.'' He said in a stern voice.

''You're a monster.'' Rey was still angry, but her voice whined in a soft tone. ''I dont know why I want to be around you-''

He was close enough for her to feel him breathing, and his body against her. After her last words, she felt his weight slowly shifting onto her and the wall behind her pushed against them. His eyes were tracing her lips and Rey felt her heart beating in her ears. He leaned closer and his lips slowly touched hers, lightly in the beginning, growing more aggressive with each touch. The shame that she'd felt before had vanished. She didnt care why she liked his lips, or the way his hand would trace her face, and the other would slowly wrap her waist, bringing her closer to him. She didn't care that she liked the way his soft lips felt so warm against hers, or the way her head would grow hot with each time their tongues touched. All Rey cared about was that she wanted every moment of it. She ran her fingers through his thick hair and pulled him closer, letting herself get lost in his lips.

 _What are we doing? What am I doing? Luke told me I should kill him! He killed people! What are you doing Rey?!_ But everything inside her wanted him. _He is your enemy! He tried to kill you! Stop!_ Her body, her hands, her lips, she refused every one of those thoughts. She felt him grab her hand and slowly parting their lips, before leading her to the piloting quarters. He stopped, took a deep breath with his chest pounding, and looked at her, searching for answers that none of them had. His eyes were much clearer than before, Rey could tell the hazel in them. She could also see every freckle of his, dotting and tracing the features of his face with a youthful touch. Her chest felt heavy too, guilt and excitement all alike, but she could not stop thinking about his lips.

''What are we doing?'' she whispered softly, before she kissed him again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Authors Note:** Hey guys sorry is late, but I havent forgotten this fic. Is just life happens and some things have priority.

One thing I want to make clear because of dozens of messages I got from this fic, is that, although I love that you guys are attentive and pay close attention to the text and very sensitive to errors, I _really really_ dont have time to edit them and redo them over and over again. I check the text with two different sites of grammar check (which Ive used for my research thesis) and my best friend(whos english) reviews them. In fact this whole fic exists because of him. I actually published it here because he really liked it and wanted me to share it.

But...I work full time and do two part time jobs on weekends. The rest of my time is filled with everyday life. I already spend alot of time writing and reviewing this, and triple checking would mean that its better not to waste my time with it anymore.

So Im genuinely sorry, but I am already exhausting my grammar checks, doing more would really take too much of my time. I understand that you guys want the best, and that you mean it for the best. But I dont really care about that(fanfic fame). For the moment, this is only a bunch of chapters my roommate asked to see, because her loved my fanfic. I am not striving to get on top of the fanfic chain XD.

Im sorry its not up to your standards, I really am. Other than that, i genuinely hope you enjoy the fic, as it is slowly coming to an end.

Thank you to all that read it anyways! Thanks for putting up with the shitty grammar, and I hope Reylo becomes canon.

Until next time.

KING PINK

* * *

Rey tried to daydream about everything other than the man next to her. She looked outside the pilot window and noticed the sun had fallen from the peak of the sky. A strip of sunshine fell across both of their legs, warming the floor too. The floor wasn't the most comfortable place to rest, but she did not mind it too much. She glanced at his bare chest for a short moment, not giving in too much in her curiosity. Rey noticed that the burn she'd given to him a year ago was still prominent across his chest. His skin was noticeably pale, although sunburnt in some places. She also noticed the small moles and freckles that dotted the balls of his shoulders.

''You have them too.'' He said, tracing her bare shoulders with his eyes, now not as tan as he'd remembered them before. Rey was caught by surprise. She had forgotten that even though they didn't get into each others head as much anymore, for them it was far too easy to know what the other was thinking. She turned to Kylo, who was lightly leaning on her side and so far had been reading a time old manual that he'd written himself, when he'd built the ship. She had been trying to ignore what had happened between them, and he had made it easier for her.

''Due to years of scouring the desert.'' Rey scoffed while turning her head and checking her top shoulder freckles. ''I was not always covered by them. Unkar Plutt always used to say to me how ugly and wrinkly the sun made pale humans, but I don't think is that bad.'' She looked at him, expecting to get some witty comeback, or some solemn story about his past, but he didn't say anything. Rey shut her eyes, trying to fight the urge to lean on him too. Their skins touching together gave her a soft shiver that she grew too comfortable with.

''I miss the way the sun fell into my skin though.'' She sighed. ''Whenever I would feel alone, I would drive my pod to this unwalked part of the eastern desert, where the dunes would hum temple songs, and I would just sit on top of one. It is almost mystical.'' She said with a smile on her face while waving her hands, gesturing an imaginary map. On her left, Kylo lowered his notes, giving her his full attention, and she felt him smiling too. It was a strange feeling, every time she'd see him smile. As if she'd seen something forbidden.

He looked so...human, boyish.

But as she sat there stroked by his smile, leaving herself so open towards him, a knot in her gut made her realize the unavoidable. He was not a handsome one-time passerby-traveler that would help her find parts in Jakku, whom she would be fortunate enough to never see again. She looked at his shoulders, his raven hair falling gracefully in his face and the smile left her face.

He was Kylo Ren. Her enemy. Master of the Knights of Ren. Server of the dark forces. And yet, while the dark forces were nowhere to be seen, with his black shirt and tunic still on the floor, he had put on his reading glasses, and was trying to figure out his ship-building pubescent ramblings on a piece of old paper. Rey pondered over getting up and leaving him there, leaving it all behind. Luke, Leia, the war. Looking outside the window, she leaned back on her elbows and wondered over the falling sun.

Had she not heard the droid's beeps that fateful day in the desert...everything would be so different, yet the same as before. She would start her days gathering parts and trading them, she would play with her Resistance props in her ATAT. She would still be returning to Jakku, and resume waiting for her parents yet again...She could run through the forest, get her lightsaber...But she looked at him, traced his features as he was focusing hard on his notes, and none of her limbs obeyed her thoughts. He smelled nice.

''I got you this with me by the way.'' He said while handing over her lightsaber in her lap.

''How did you get this from me?'' Rey asked alarmingly, immediately standing up to get hold of it.

''You forgot it at the ship. When you sat down. I wouldn't leave my lightsaber everywhere like that. You never know.'' He said in a rough voice. Rey wasn't sure whether she heard a crack on his voice, or was just him having a hard time being nice.

''You know about my vision.'' She said, regretting speaking the words. Now it made them more true.

''I do,'' He said, taking his eyes off the notes, and looking at Rey. ''They are on their way here now.'' Kylo tucked one of hair strands behind her ear, and gazed into her eyes. ''I dont know why I have this...'' he continued, while pointing to his chest. ''fear or frustration...call it whatever you want, everytime you might be in danger...I feel responsible for you... I can't bear seeing you harmed.'' While he spoke, Rey glanced at his chest, which seemed immovable and almost breathless. She had noticed her heart had started beating harder and harder with each word he said. Frozen as she was, Rey felt the electricity of his hand getting close to touching to hers.

''Come with me.'' He said with pleading eyes. ''I have so much to show you. Worlds, galaxies. The Force is so much bigger than the Jedi teach it." He was pleading. "We have no time. They will go to Luke. And then they are coming for you. Please, just...come.'' Conflicted feelings were something that had always set Rey off. Her blood boiled in her face. Her heart didn't know what to deal with first. Her mind didn't know whether to be terrified, that a whole army was coming after her; betrayed, that he somehow knew about her vision, or frustrated for yet not wanting to be away from him. After agonizing seconds of burning gaze, she got up to put her warm tunic on.

''Where are you going?" Kylo got up after her, nervously following her every move. ''You know they will find you! They gave me one last chance to take you to the dark side. They are going to kill us both if you go!''

''I cant leave Luke!'' She spat impatiently from Kylo following her around. ''Whatever he's done to you, he has been the only hope, not just for me, but to everyone! You can't just say those things, and expect me to come running with you! You-you have done horrible things-''

''I know! I know! I killed Han Solo! Those people-'' Kylo shook his head frustrated.

''Your father!Not just Han Solo! Your father!" Rey felt her loud voice shivering from within. "He was your own blood. How-how do you expect me to trust you? What if Snoke orders you to kill me? Huh? What do you do then?" She started moving around the room aimlessly, all red and angry. "Please, at least give me this. Tell me you understand how confusing and-an..-and unsolvable this is to me! What will you do?'' Rey turned to him, their faces only inches apart. Her eyes were fiery.

''I do what I did six months ago. I leave them for good.'' He replied firmly. ''I am done with them. My whole life has been nothing but- but a game, a pawn to others game. Since I was a child my life was decided for me. Everything I have ever done has been decided for me! I was ripped apart. In thousands of pieces. I was one man and then was another." His voice lowered, visibly trying to cover repressed insecurities. "You are the only thing in my life that came to me unexpectedly. And the only thing that I am certain now is that I want you there...Not because I want to turn you to the dark...I just want to show _you_ \- Rey?!'' Kylo raised his eyes in shock, not believing what had just happened.

Rey, however was in a deeper plane of shock herself. She could not believe what she'd found in his thoughts. She sighed, desperate to understand the truth that he'd hidden in his head for far too long. He tried to block her probing, but the cracks of his emotional state had made him far too vulnerable to her Force. Rey felt her silent tears mark her cheeks as she struggled hard into his thoughts to find his truth. As soon as she reached what she needed, she felt her own soul breaking loudly into pieces. _Kylo Ren had not been lying_. Kylo Ren had had everything written for him. The truth was buried so deep within his consciousness that she physically felt the heaviness of it all. She found herself step away, sobbing at the pain he was feeling, while unraveling them. Rey tried to swallow the pain, to look further into his head.

She saw Han breaking glasses, she saw Han leaving, the Millenium Falcon taking away in the blue sky. She saw a young Leia sobbing, running to her room, and closing the door to her. She found herself crying at night. She saw nightmares that no child should've ever seen. She saw Leia secretly crying- openly crying- silently crying while staring outside the window at night. She saw the sun and rain, none of which took the form of a family. She saw uniforms. She saw many other men and women coming to the house, Leia working on documents. She saw the different sitters taking her away from the mother, while the mother worked. She saw a young Luke approaching and taking her hand, shushing her cries for the mother. She saw the Millenium Falcon approaching, but never having Han Solo coming out of it. She saw Luke, and how everything was orchestrated to the bare details. She saw the countless nights that he sobbed for his mother, until he didn't anymore. Until he forgot her face. Until his mother was nothing but his general, just a famous face in a big poster in the Main Square. She saw Luke, rigorously training him, conducting and teaching every detail to him, preparing him for something big.

Then she saw darkness. '

'Get out of my head!'' Kylo's cry brought her back from the dead memories. The knot that his pain had given her took her breath for a few seconds. Her face felt wet. Rey touched her cheeks, and wiped her tears away. Not thinking anything else but the vortex of memories and souls that they both were, she approached him and cupped his face while looking into his eyes.

''You were telling me the truth.'' She said in a much awaited realization, letting out a small but immensely important breath of relief out of her chest. ''You were telling me the truth.'' She repeated again slowly, softly, while wiping one faint tear of his way. ''Ben?''

"That's not my name.''

"But you-''

''I have lived more than five years as Kylo Ren. It does not matter the purpose, or the reason why; I am not Ben. I am not who my parents wanted me to be.'' He said softly, while cupping her hand that was on his face. ''Rey, you have no more time. The sun is about to set. They will be here by nightfall.''

''I will fight them. Please come with me. Come to the light. That is where you belong. And now I know.'' She said looking at him, her voice almost revealing it all.

* * *

Rey did not want to hide the tears as she was running away in the woods. They felt cold on her face, the sun and its heat was leaving the air, and with that so did the warmth of the day. She tried to grasp for any air she could, while the distance growing further and further apart from the ship. She knew he wouldn't chase her. She knew he loved her. And it was tearing him apart even more so. _But why am I hurting so much. Why am I so angry at him. What did you expect from that man? You knew it! Focus Rey! They will kill you. Focus on Luke!_ Rey felt the strain that the run had put on her body. She felt her breath leaving her little by little as her feet were feeling numb and her muscles were giving up. But every bone in her body was pushing forwards. She knew how to get to Luke, even though he had blocked every telepathic communication with the outsiders. So she ran. She wasn't thinking of anything but the leaves that smacked her face and the cold air that was numbing her lungs.

She could think of nothing else but the inside of his head- no his soul. He had buried that part of his so deep, the pain of awakening them had even reached her insides. She had seen the scars, but she had never thought that he had actively tried to end his life more than once. She had never thought that everything was orchestrated. She had never thought that he had gone to Snoke with a mission. A suicide mission. A mission delegated by his own mother. _Family_. A mission that would tear him further apart from the remnants of his humanity. _Family_. Rey had never thought that she would think of his soul as a noble one. Her breaths were becoming wider and more painful. She found herself rooting for him. Everything had become such a blur to her, that the fine line between the light and dark that she saw, had changed into a shady veil of grey. She had slowed down since, but the forest was slowly fading into bushes and small trees. With a half heart, Rey realized that this was not the same way that they came. She looked behind. It would take her far too long to go the same way back. She had no choice but to continue forward. At this point, it was a zero sum game.

The sun gave the last light, while the other half of the sky was veiled in blue-black. Rey felt the air trembling and the humming of the fighter jets in the sky. The vibrations in the air gave chills in her bones. She stopped just meters before she realized where she was. Her breaths were so frequent, she wasn't even breathing anymore. Three ships flew above her, violently cut the air and headed of the meadow where Kylo Ren was before. Rey held to her lightsaber and took a few steps ahead, to see the naked granite cliff that laid in front of her, deadly cut to the bottom of the ocean, with an angry sea to cover the spiny rocks at the end. Her heart skipped a beat. _Fear leads you to the dark side. Focus Rey. Fear leads you to the dark side._

 _Fear also helps you survive Rey._ Rey felt his presence, and her heart felt lighter.

"Accept it, accept that you need it." Her stomach twitched at the deep mechanic voice. "You have done so for your whole life Rey. Why change now? Because an old man says so?'' Rey turned around and saw him standing behind the trees wearing his mask and mantel, covered in sweat, but Rey knew he had a grin on his face. She wasn't scared of the creature in the mask.

''I am not leaving you.'' He said in a mellow tone, putting his hands on the side of the mask to remove it. Rey looked at him and felt her fear disappear. _I am not scared anymore._ He stopped, tilted his head, and lowered his hands.

"You don't want to kill me anymore." Said Kylo Ren. She took a deep breath, went close to him and rested her forehead on his chest, while the forest in front lay between them and the meadow where certain death would be waiting.

''Did Luke also tell you to learn all this from the dark side?'' She chuckled while holding on to his tunic. ''You always say how good the dark side has it.''

''No.'' He wrapped her with one hand, while resting the other on the back of her head. ''I just found halfway, that they were both right. The dark side and the light. None can exist for long without the other.''


	19. Chapter 19

Rey woke up that morning, having forgotten all about what happened. For a mere second she believed she was at the Resistance, but the wooden walls and ceiling said otherwise. She felt happy and light, but she did not know why. A sudden realization hit her. She turned around and saw her clothes hanging on the chair next to the bed, clean and new. She realized she hadn't worn her sand coloured tunic in a long time. They looked too much like the ones she used in Jak'ku, but she liked how they felt in her hand. She got up and started dressing up, when accidentally her eyes glanced at the mirror that lied at the end of the room. Rey took a moment and went closer to the mirror. She almost did not recognize the woman she saw.

Her hair was long, clean and heavy on her shoulders, but the dirty sand colour had not changed. After the fight, she realized it was time for a change. The triple buns were her lighthouse to the past. And she was done with that. Instead the simple ponytail that held three braids in it suited her better. Although her baby hairs would still frame her face, they gave her a more mature sense to herself. But it would take her a while to get used to the new hairstyle. She saw how her face seemed far more serious, and older, with her cheekbones sticking out and most of her distinctive freckles gone. Her usual olive tone had left her skin, uncovering patches of the somewhat pale skin that she remembered to have had from when she was only a child. In some places, stretch marks from all the lack of nutrition and battle scars had taken place.

A knock on the door, grabbed her attention, followed by a tall familiar energy entering the room.

"Fin!" Rey ran towards him, but the harsh expression in his face left her hanging half way. "What's wrong Fin?"

"His trial will begin now. They say it is going to be exile, but we are all rooting for execution." Finn looked at her, narrowing his eyebrows at the words he spoke. Rey froze. They didn't know. Nowadays Kylo Ren was the (obviously) heavily guarded prisoner of war that they had. Their most elite squad, E.L.T.E would follow him everywhere he went, including three Force sensitives that had learnt some tricks from Leia. From afar, one couldn't even see him through the three layers of guards that circled him. Half of the base had no idea what he looked like. But she could feel how he felt. And it pained her stomach.

 _No one knows_. No one knew apart from Luke and Leia. No one knew that Kylo Ren was sent as a teenager to work for Snoke. None of them knew. Leia had been on hybersleep for longer than six months, and Luke was gone... No one would stand up for him. Rey recalled all the times she sneaked out against any better judgement that she ever had, to see him inside the quarter cell they were keeping him. She remembered all the times she risked their lives, trying to free him. She remembered giving up, and then just visiting him with the swarm of the ELTE, looking at all the scars he took because of her, and for her.

"Fin he saved my life. They can't execute him."

"He is a murderer Rey!" Finn came close to Rey, close enough for her to feel his heavy breathing. "Its so unapologetically arrogant and immature of you to believe that your life is worth the thousands that he has ended! He is a tyrant, he killed-"

"Enough!" Rey shouted to override the words that were coming out of Fin's mouth. "We all have lost people we love in this war Fin-"

"What?" Said Finn, while tilting his head, approaching Rey and forming a sarcastic almost-smile. "No you haven't. You didn't know Poe, or Lorraine or Maika, or-or Jhege, or Wan Ji! And thousands of others! You never knew them, I did!" He shouted. Rey's body felt stone cold. "An- And the thousands of the stormtroopers...They tortured us. Ripped us away from our families, love, future...We have no family!" Realizing how loud his voice was Finn stopped to take a deep breath. "While you were away playing magic with Luke. And what did that bring us? Nothing but a massive mess." Fin's nose was flared, and he was raising his voice even more with each word he spoke. He grabbed Rey's arm and looked at her. "We are all tired playing the games of the big men, fighting the wars of the big men. In the end, we die, we lose our arms, our eyes, our loved ones. It is our loss, not theirs. And you know what Rey, you have been one of the big men. You and your Jedi's magic. So don't you ever dare-" Rey grabbed his hand that was gripping her arm, and used the Force to push him on the other side of the room. He fell on top of the clothes drawer, and the mirror slid on top of his body. Finn didn't protest. He seemed beaten up.

"And you couldn't even spare a few minutes to come to their memorial. Or talk to me after it was all over...You couldn't even do that." He raised his hand and covered his face with his palm. "But you did have time to visit Kylo Ren in prison though. Because you don't know loss. You don't know anger. You're like him now."

"How dare..." Rey shook her head as if she was trying to shake his words away. Looking at him in that state, she struggled trying to find the right thing to do, swinging from screaming at him about her lost life on Jakku to leaving the room and ignoring every thing he had said. Closing her eyes and calling the Force to her side she spoke. "You knew me first of all of them Fin. You know I am not the big man. You know I was forcefully dragged into this war, and you know you voluntarily joined this war. But you do not know me Fin." She took a deep breath, to stabilize her energy levels, and spoke calmly. "We need to go. The trial will begin soon, and I cannot miss it."

* * *

Rey calmly entered the big room, surrounded by a heavy gossiping air and an orchestra of thousand voices. The ovally placed chairs formed a half moon, all looking towards, and centered the main podium where Kylo Ren was chained to, as always surrounded by the ELTE. She was looking at him for the first time in months. His hair fell long, heavy and dirt black on his shoulders. He'd lost weight. But he still stood tall and one could easily see his muscular body through his sand coloured tunic. Their eyes met, and Rey felt her heart shake. In that fraction of a second, she remembered herself and how guilty she'd felt when the battlefield that belonged to them two, reminded her of a dance floor, where only their perfectly synchronized flow of the Force existed. Her guilt had almost consumed her. But her awe was every move of one was completing the other. She knew she'd fallen for him. She looked at him now, knowing that all the guilt and shame for loving this man had vanished. In that final battle, where no one else existed but them, their Force had bonded, their souls married forever to each other. Somehow, Rey had learnt to have his presence next to hers, without looking at him. Without looking at him her heart would mimic his, and his hers.

The air in the room became heavier. When she looked at him she felt the sorrow he felt, and the anger he felt. A comical thought came to her, as just a fling of Kylo's wrist of the Force, and he could displace the room from its weak wooden foundations, yet he was sitting calmly there, seemingly vulnerable, shackled. She looked at him, and knew the thought had reached him too, when a slight smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.

Slowly the room was becoming more and more crowded, until Fin and General Kab'bar came and sat on the last two seats in the front row, chairs painted in a golden brown. Kylo straightened his back, raising his head to match their eyeline. Rey wondered how was it that he carried himself with such grace even in situations like this. He stood tall and broad. Strangely, she couldn't help but feel proud of him. Something that he had apparently sensed, given that the corner of his mouth rose into a slight smile.

Then she heard her name. Her full name. It had been so long that someone had mouthed those three words, that a shiver ran through her spine and ended in her neck with a hit. Her ears muffled every outside noise, her head started spinning and her vision became blurry. A knot in her chest prevented her from breathing. She raised her eyes and saw Unkar Plutt across the room aproaching her in heavily steps with his metal staff, raising it up in the air, ready to hit her. _A vision?No!_ Rey's blood was boiling. She wanted to scream but nothing came out. _This is form the past?! No! You are in Jakku! I am not a child anymore!_

Rey felt someone touching her shoulder and grabbing her arms. _Unkar?!_ She felt herself breathing heavily and throwing punches, only to be shaken and realizing she was surrounded by Resistance uniforms. She found her chest going increasingly fast up and down, following her heartbeat. Rey remembered she was in judgement court. Her mouth twitched. She had been conditioned to hate those words. She loathed the day she'd have to say them herself, again.

Rey stood up shaking the hands of the guards next to her, and looked around the room, feeling the hundreds of eyes pinned on her, silence being the decaying witness of the heavy judgement that came from them. Her eyes went on Finn and General Kab'bar who spoke again.

"Please proceed, we do not have all day." She swallowed lightly before she made her way out of the audience and presented herself before the jury, a long line of old and young alike, different species and beings that were patiently waiting for her testament. The transition between being the watcher to the watched was a fear she didn't know existed in her.

"Please state your full name with your own voice, as required by the galactic law" said the delegate. Rey felt her muscles freeze and her skin rise. She glanced at Kylo, but she saw that she wasn't the only person petrified by her full name in the room. Rey was confused to realize that she might shed tears. His eyes were wide and filled with... _fear?confusion? wonder?_ Rey couldn't make it what it was but she didn't like it. She didn't like his doubt of her. She didn't like him to be scared of her. But what she didn't like most was saying it. Those words. _Nothing good would ever come from those words._ She clenched her fists and tried with all her will power to hold back the tears and the shiver that was creeping in her spine yet again. _I will kill you myself._ The thousand eyes were watching. _This staff will be the best you get fro mthose words._ The room was holding the breath. _Never say those words again._

"I'reyna Daarayn Kenobi Palpatine. The first and only daughter of Brangwen Palpatine and Aileen Wan Kenobi" She said in a full tone, the back of her mouth automatically waiting to taste the metal off from Unkar's staff. Rey held her breath when she realized that no one had moved after those words. Unkar was nowhere to be found with his vile whip and the metal staff. There was no one to punish her for saying it out loud. Strangely the whole room had fallen quiet. The whispers that forever lingered in such a big room were gone. The specks of dust in the air didn't dare interrupt her. Her heart started beating louder and louder in her ears. The judges weren't saying anything, and nor was the delegate. She was waiting for someone to ask her something, but nothing moved. She turned towards Kylo dreading to see his reaction. But he wasn't confused anymore. He was amazed. His eyes were shining and he wasn't trying to hide that soft smile of his anymore.

 _I'reyna_. She heard his soft voice in her head. She looked at him and her upper lip trembled as she pointed at a chained Kylo Ren, on the podium.

"This man," she shouted strongly in her thick accent. "He has sacrificed his whole life for the Resistance. He was taken from when he was but a babe, from his mother's arms to become a Jedi, to save you. He was taken from his home, to be trained in combat, to save you. He was taken from his family, his friends, to be trained in strategy and intrigue, to save you." Rey's voice echoed strong to the very edges of the room and beyond, where hundreds of people had gathered to hear what she had to say.

"He was taken from his world, sacrificing his whole life, to pretend to be someone he is not! To save you! This man has gone through the horrors of the darkness, has succumbed to it, and has come back from it, to save You!" She then turned towards Kylo, who was taken by surprise from her speech. The speech was about him. And she was pointing at him, but no one was looking at him. They were all looking at her, in awe. "You simply cannot, I will do everything in my power for you not to condemn this man to death, or even a life of such manners. I know about isolation. I know all about being away from your family and loved ones to a planet that only tries to kill you. And even though my isolation was not as calculated as his has been, it still hurt. I stay for this man's innocence!" As soon as Rey finished her speech the room started gradually buzzing with whispers and little talks, phrases and words out of their mouths. Rey impatiently waited for the jury to consult each other, alternating between looking at Fin and then at Kylo.

"Quite a speech you gave." Said the General with a strange look on his face.

"I am sorry Rey, but the speech you gave is not on the protocol, and as such, cannot be taken as a real testimony." One of the Rosan planet spoke with pity for her. "We need accurate and precise answers to the questions we will make. Are you clear?" Rey nodded, waiting for them.

"When did you first meet Ben Organa Solo, later to be known as Kylo Ren?" The question came from the first woman on the jury row. Dark, kinky hair and purple skin, Rey knew the woman to be one of the few politicians left from Ar'aar. She had been close to Leia, according to Finn, and she had known Ben. Rey looked inside herself to find the peace she needed to answer their questions correctly. She took a deep breath before speaking the sentence that would wreak havoc in the room.

"I first met Kylo Ren when he was still known as Ben. At Luke's Jedi training academy. I was nine years old." The whispers in the room boosted as if an army of sandflies had just entered the quarters. Rey felt that the spotlight was on her. Everyone was looking at her, scanning her every move, her every thought.

"And why were you there?" The woman asked again. Her voice was calm, soothing, and she seemed to hold no judgement in her questions, only...curiosity.

"I was sent there by my family to be trained by Luke Skywalker. My mother was strong with the force too, and Luke had asked to train me." Rey stated calmly while knowing her words would fuel the whispers even more. "But I never met Luke then. He was but a legend to me. A bedtime story." She too was surprised that she had suddenly remembered so many details of that time, details that were lost for quite a while to her. She vaguely remembered the music and how the rooms in the temple were set, and how she would walk through the hallways. She remembered the smell of the old garden, and the boy who would hang more than often there.

"Rey, I am sure you are aware of the devastation that fell upon that temple. We like to believe that you know of the massacre. Where more than three hundred children aged from nine to nineteen were found dead." Rey took a deep breath and soaked in every word that the woman said. Every word she said, stroke to a single other memory that came to her. "A deed believed to have been done by the very man you are defending. We were later reported that not a single child was left alive. How is it that you are alive, yet claim to have been there?" Rey did not say anything, or hear anything else. The night, the smell, the screaming, everything the woman was describing she was feeling it all again. _A vision. No._ The burning smell that had violently covered the air. She ran towards the balcony, to see the old garden completely sunk in a sea of orange and red flames. She starts sobbing and shaking. She cries. She asks for her mother. She asks for her father. The door of the room is shut, and she is alone. She keeps hearing screams, little children scream, in anguish and pain, and she can feel it all. The smoke starts getting into her lungs and she can feel the somberness of the smoke overtaking her, but a hand grabs her small hand and leads her through a small door on the wooden floor where there is not much smoke. She can still hear the screams. The door opens and Rey finds herself again in the courtroom. Whispers. Eyes fixed on her. Whispers. _What is going on?_

"Rey? Miss Kenobi? Miss Palpatine? Would you please answer the question that was made to you? Wait- What are you doing?!" _What is happening?_ She heard the coarse voice of the new General bringing her back. When she truly found herself back to reality she saw three guards holding Kylo down, whereas the whole room was to be calmed by the elderly of the jury. Scared and confused, Rey turned to Fin, looking for answers, but he was too busy commanding the guards that were holding Kylo Ren down.

"Ms Rey! You have solemnly promised to not use the Force while within these quarters! Dare to break that promise again and you will not have our words of the safety of the prisoner. You will risk his life as well as condemning your own banishment!" Rey felt her heart racing out of her chest, while still confused to what had happened. Her knees felt weak. _What happened?_

"Please answer the question." The same woman from before stated firmly. Her tone had changed. Rey looked at her and tried to remember the question. She knew they asked her why she was alive. But she did not know what they meant to achieve by that.

"I-I was saved by someone. They took me and I ended up in a tunnel beneath the temple. Thats all I remember. I recently discovered that that man might've been Luke, taking me to my parents again, and erasing my memories of the Jedi and himself." She said, the emptiness building up inside her. The jury started consulting each other again. Fin did not partake in them. He was staring at Rey, his eyes filled with anger and grief.

"This man killed all the Jedi children." Finn stood up and slammed his fists on the wooden table. "This man approached the most dangerous being in the Galaxy and supplied him with even more Force to be under his command. This man built and led an army, created from little children taken off their homes, and trained them for one single purpose: to destroy the Resistance fighters, and anyone who opposed their leadership. This man killed his own father, and later is the cause of his uncle's death. How can you still side with this man? Huh Rey?! Answer this question Rey!" Rey did not say anything. He had done those things. He was guilty of every single-

"I did not murder the Jedi children." The deep voice that echoed far in the room came from Kylo Ren. The guards put him down and forced his head into the desk.

"Do not speak until you're spoken to, prisoner!" They spat. Finn was alarmingly looking at both of them, before looking at Rey.

"What do you know that you haven't told us?" He demanded, shouting.

"I don't know!" Rey shrugged, feeling lost and confused herself. This was not something she knew. She kept staring at Kylo, also demanding more answers. "Ask him!" The chaos that fell in the room was hard to be kept down. People started getting up their chairs and coming closer to the podium. The jury was unsettled, and the security guards tripled in numbers.

"Everyone in this room that is not directly connected to this testimony and judgement, must leave the room quietly and in order!" The guards surrounding the jury shouted. But none of the people in the room listened to them. Finally the General got up.

"Fine then. I believe is time to ask the prisoner. We might as well be done with you Rey." He said, while gesturing towards the guards that were holding Kylo down. "Let him speak" They loosened the grip on him, enough for him to raise his head, but they did not release his arms. Kylo straightened his back and glanced at Rey before focusing on growling at the General again. "Please, do tell us about the Jedi Academy. It is a matter of the past, and more than enough years have passed since it happened, but we need to know the truth." The General spoke, more gently this time. The whole room went silent again.

"I did not kill the Jedi. The Jedi were killed by my master of Ren, Kon'hor Ren. But he was stopped and taken down by Luke. Unfortunately for the Padawans, Luke arrived far too late to save his pupils. I was the youngest of the Ren Knights, and I needed to advance forward." While listening to his soothing, yet darkened voice, Rey could not get much of the information together. She continued listening closely to his words, even though most of them triggered her past to become a most undesirable present yet again.

"I was not respected or even looked at. So I took the credit for it. They knew Kon'hor Ren was truly my master, so they did not doubt me. The words were spread loud and across the Galaxy, and Id finally saved myself from the indoctrinations of the Jedi" He finished his sentence with a sarcastic half-smile.

"And what proof do you have of this?" The General asked, speaking for everyone in the room.

"I was with her, we were playing at the New Garden, when he started killing the Padawans." Kylo spoke softly, while gesturing towards Rey. _Wait what?!_ Horrified, Rey looked at him, where no answers were to be found. She did not remember such a thing. How could he do that to her? Why would he lie- Why would he put her in that position? She didn't know. She didn't know anything. Startled, Rey turned towards the jury and hoped that what she was going to do was right.

"I- I am sorry, but I have no memory of this." She said in a flat voice.

"I knew you didn't. But I need to tell you this- Let- Let me go!" Fighting the guard's grip, Kylo Ren stood up, looking at Rey and longing for something. "I was the one who put your hair up in three buns. You were joking at the other Padawans, and how ridiculous they looked with that one little tail behind their ears, so I challenged you to create another hairstyle, more fit for the Jedi. I also gave you a small resistance fighter doll, which I had made some weeks ago before the massacre. Luke told me they gave it to you when they left you in Jak'ku..." Struggling through her throbbing headache and trying to keep her whole attention on his voice and his words, Rey sat down, fearing that her knees would not be able to handle another confession of this caliber.

"...This happened before the fire-After someone shouted 'fire' you ran to your room...Re-Rey, do you remember these?" His voice became soft in the end. Rey's gut ached. She felt betrayed, angry and confused, all at once. She did remember fragments of what he said, when he said them; She did remember the doll, which she'd left in Jak'ku, but... _Everything is a massive blur!..._ She believed to have made that doll herself...She thinly remembered sitting in the New Garden, whilst someone playing with her hair. But she did not remember the details. Why had he never mentioned this before? _Why just now?_

"Please Rey, answer to the jury. Are any of these true?" The General asked softly. "We need to know." Rey felt her palms sweating. Surely, something of such importance could not fall into the hands of her. Someone that could barely remember her name! Someone that could barely remember her family, and who she was. Someone that could not remember her past. Surely, surely this outta have another solution.

"You can't ask this of me!" She shouted to the room, her eyes almost filled with angry tears, her head shaking. "You cannot put the truth of years of devastation and pain and suffering families in my hands! I dont have an answer for them...or for you! Im sorry, I just can't!" Rey heard her voice echoing. "I dont remember anything, an-and If I do I am not sure. Years of being lost and burnt in that desert, abused and beaten on, my memory is nothing of trust." She felt real tears coming into her eyes. "In the desert we are taught not to trust the mirages, even though they look as clear as your own hand. I am sorry. But I cannot give you an answer." She sat down without looking anywhere else but her hands. She scanned all the scars and the untanned marks, where scabs had formed after the battle. The sun had not touched that part of her skin. Yet.

"Clearly this is more than enough for our guest, as well as the prisoner. We are not torturers here, we strive to be peaceful and orderly beings. And as such, we will leave you be. For now." The General that had been standing up the whole time spoke softly with his rough voice.

"Kylo Ren, the jury will exile you for twenty years, to the farthest planet of the Sanorium System, Kikga, where you will not be given anything to aid with your life there. You can build a life there if you wish, only with the locals. You will not be given technology, or any device of such kind, which might help you establish a connection with someone outside the planet. You will be denied the privileges of a Republic member, which will be cited to you on the way there. From now on, you are stripped of every riches or properties and titles that were given to you in good faith, or that you have inherited from your precedents. For tonight, you will sleep in one of the campsite cabins, as you are no longer a high security prisoner. You will, however, be a subject of surveillance to the three guards that have been appointed to you. You are obliged to answer all the questions concerning your time with the First Order. You will not disclose that information with no one else but our highly qualified team of strategists. You will forever, be in debt of the Resistance for sparing your life on such grounds. Do not forget Kylo Ren, you are still, and will be our was prisoner for the rest of your life. Please make your way out. And we wish you the best of luck. Thats all."

"Rey," He then faced Rey, who had been staring at a blank point in space for the whole time. She raised her eyes to meet his, and straightened her back. "You are free to go. You will however be approached my many historians and researchers that will try to find the truth behind Kylo Ren's words. If there is any case that proves otherwise, he shall be condemned to execution. As for now, you still own the Millennium Falcon, as it was given to you by Han Solo, and was approved by our retired General, Leia Organa Solo. You are free to go." He ended his statement, and gathered around all the devices that were projecting her data and details before. All the judges got up after him, and followed his lead, by switching off every device that projected the case. Rey looked around, but Kylo Ren was gone. Rey looked at Fin, waiting for his gorgeous smile, but she was now, certain that smile was gone forever, along with Poe Dameron. He did not even look at her, but headed straight for the door, following the General. Soon the room was empty. No more whispers.

* * *

 **Authors note**

Sorry this one is so long guys! But this is one of my favourite chapters of this fic and I hope you enjoyed it. Only two more chapters left :)

xx

KingPink


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